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Deadly Hippos Announces Criminal Athletes Tournament of Death
03/13/07
Last year, Deadly Hippos brought you incredible steel cage battles between famous animals, capped off by the ferocious victory of Lorenzo, the 27's cat, who slew notable talking horse Mr. Ed, South Park hero Cartman's cat, and in the finals, eviscerated, gutted, and shamed annoying beer dog Spudz McKenzie.
The year before, the action was at the ping pong tables, where Fidel Castro slammed the ping pong ball down the throats of Keanu Reeves, George Foreman, and Prince Charles.
This year will be the most violent and bloodthirsty yet, as Deadly Hippos presents:
The tournament features an array of athletes who have broken the law, accused of breaking the law, or seem like they might break the law in the future. Once the competition starts, of course, the severity of their crimes will no longer matter - they are competing for their lives in a tournament of death.
Before the tournament starts, there is a play-in battle royale between 5 teams:
Once the play-in game has been determined (hopefully tomorrow depending on the time it takes for four of the teams to perish), the final bracket will be announced and fields will be narrated... and of course, as always, your votes will determine who wins every match.
Note that if you have been living under a rock for the past twenty years or you are an idiot, you might not know who some of these people are and what they did to deserve an entry in the tournament... of course if that is the case you don't deserve the privilege of reading this site, but we'll inform you anyway.
The preliminary field of play:
Tune in tomorrow for the first Divisional matches and a printable bracket to bring to work and bet on with your friends.
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