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Coaches : contracts :: Celebrities : marriage
01/23/07
by Clay

Contracts. Oh God, contracts. The very mention of the subject takes me back to Professor Goldberg's five-credit, first-year course at Vanderbilt Law School.

I sat in the back row while we talked about the myriad complexities of expectancy, restitution and reliance damages. Almost every page in my contracts textbook was covered in multicolored highlighted markers: Blue for the facts of a case, green for the procedural history, yellow for the reasoning behind the result, orange for other cases that had been cited and pink for the holding/result of the case.

Sometimes these colors overlapped, which made for a very trying few moments whenever you were called on in front of 90 other students and grilled about the particulars of the case.

Most of the time, Vanderbilt Law School was relaxed -- but during the first year of law school, before your initial exams, getting called on in class was the height of fear and danger. Like swimming through an Everglades swamp wrapped in freshly cut steaks. A verbal disemboweling seemed to lurk around every corner.

And often these verbal disembowelings were great fun to watch. So long, that is, as you weren't the person being disemboweled. Being asked a question that you don't know the answer to in a room full of people can redefine the length of a second. A minute of complete silence is a long time. Trust me, I know. Once I was getting killed on a question-and-answer session in contracts class and my friend Tony flagged me down. He gestured to his laptop screen, where I was hoping a helpful answer would be found. Instead, it was silent she-male porn. Nice.

In the fall semester of 2001 -- when I was a young law student embarking on a quest of intellectual purity and honesty and still believing that practicing law didn't mean sitting in front of a computer, scanning 43 million e-mails to see if asbestos was mentioned -- Samari Rolle was holding out as a Tennessee Titans cornerback.

There was much uncertainty as to what was going to happen with his situation, and so we asked Professor Goldberg about the legal implications of Rolle's contract status.

I distinctly remember our professor pausing and saying, "Ahhh, sports contracts." Then a longer pause. "Ewww, sports contracts."

I think this sort of summed up the legal field's opinion of these disputes. When it comes to contracts involving sports, all bets are off. And within the particular subset of sports contracts that involve coaches, anarchy rules.

Coaching contracts are back in the news (even though it seems like they never leave) because of former Miami coach Nick Saban's recent spurning of the NFL's Dolphins in favor of the University of Alabama. Lots of people across the country are up in arms because of Saban's consistent denials of interest. But they're also upset because Saban had an existing contract with the Dolphins. That contract effectively ceased to exist the moment he wanted it to.

Many fans wonder, what in the world is the purpose of a contract if it can be broken on a whim? These fans have hit upon a legitimate concern. That's because in all of sports, no contracts are less binding than coaching contracts.

Yet the media consistently report the latest contract extensions and coaching signings as if the world has been fundamentally altered. Rarely are the explicit terms of these deals released or analyzed. That's too time-consuming and mind-numbingly boring. Trust me. It's much easier to trumpet the arrival of a new savior. Each new coaching hire embraces the owner and both men stand before the media and gush about one another.

Unfortunately, the contract each man has just signed has much more in common with a prenuptial agreement between an aging Hollywood star and his newest arm candy than it does with, say, a car note or a mortgage. Actually the Hollywood marriages probably last longer. And are more honest.

Don't believe me? Just wait. There are four NFL coaching jobs currently open: Arizona, Miami, Oakland and Pittsburgh. When those positions are filled, the articles written about the signings will feature all sorts of details about the mutual commitment offered by both parties for (insert number of years here). The coach will say he's always wanted to coach in (insert city here) and the owner will say that he has always wanted to hire (insert coach's name here). Then both sides will hug and discuss how equitable and honest the contract is.

In three years, more than half of these relationships will be over. And for the majority of these hirings, the initial term of the contract will come nowhere near expiring.

With that in mind, I decided to weigh into the complex world of coaching contracts and give you a list of seven things you should know about the topic. So the next time your team hires a coach who promises he's going to be around forever, you'll be prepared when things don't work out.

1. Coaching contracts don't really bind anyone to anything.

Both coach and team have abundant opportunities to escape. Coaching contracts are sort of like those goofy promise rings that high school kids give each other as pre-engagement engagement rings. Actually, I think some clueless college kids might give these things out, too. You know, these kids go out to a family barbecue or something, and everyone coos about how upstanding they are and how they were meant for one another. Then the guy or girl goes to New York City for the summer and has sex with a Cuban dance instructor. Or decides to move to Tuscaloosa. Yeah, that promise ring was really important.

2. College coaches get contract extensions to help recruiting.

Look at many college contracts and they will extend for four years. Some of them automatically extend at the end of a season. Four years is, coincidentally, the amount of time that most recruits are committing themselves to a school. So coaches can tell all their recruits, "I'm going to be at (insert college here) for at least as long as you are." Unfortunately for the recruits, these extensions mean absolutely nothing. See Shula, Mike et al.

3. Buyout clauses are always bought out.

At least by schools that really want someone. I always love it when some member of the media reports that Coach (insert name here) won't be going anywhere because of the buyout clause in his contract. Really? Sorry, I guess that's why they call it a buyout clause, because it's impossible to break. Then a few weeks later this same coach is being introduced at a news conference for a new team.

If a team truly wants to hire a coach, it will. End of story. Don't believe the buyout stops anything from happening. If a team chooses not to hire a coach, it's because he wasn't worth buying out or because it had a more attractive option. Not because it was stonewalled by the terms of a coaching contract.

4. Coaches exploit their contractual freedom constantly.

How many times have you seen a coach finagle a raise by dangling his foot into the competitive hiring market, even though he's already signed under a current contract? Yet these same coaches throw an absolute fit whenever a player under their control seeks a new contract -- despite being under contract -- or when a team talks to another coaching candidate. Sometimes, it's good to be a coach; there are less people to answer to when you're flagrantly hypocritical.

5. There is no one who can't be fired. Period.

This is the flip side to coaches extracting raises when they're under contract. A coach might not be fired because he still has booster support or because there isn't an attractive candidate to replace him. But he's never kept on the job because the contract doesn't allow it. Quite the contrary.

6. There is no coach who can't leave and take another job.

Most contracts featuring highly trained professionals would include a non-compete clause. Not just in sports, but for some very skilled doctors, lawyers, businessmen, singers, actors and sundry other highly sought-after professionals. For example, Nike's CEO can't leave and the next year take over at Reebok. If I hire you for five years to play point guard for my team, then you can't leave and sign with another team while you're under contract with me. This is a basic tenet of professional sports. Except when it comes to coaches.

7. Coaching is perpetual free agency.

Imagine if after every season the most successful players were rumored to be changing teams. It would be insane. LeBron James decides he'd like to play for the Lakers and leaves behind his Cleveland Cavs contract to sign a new 10-year deal. One year later, LeBron changes his mind. L.A. just isn't his kind of town. He'd prefer somewhere calmer. Like New York. So he signs another 10-year deal with the Knicks. And so on and so forth.

Yet this is the case every year with coaches. People like to criticize guaranteed money contracts for players because, in general, they probably encourage players to not work as hard. But how much more preferable is knowing that your favorite player is bound to a team for several years than trying to get behind your favorite coach, who could be gone tomorrow?

Welcome to the wonderful world of coaching contracts, where tissue paper has more substance.

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