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David Stern is an outstanding commissioner. He has brought the NBA from the 3rd most popular sport in the USA to the 2nd most popular sport in the world as it rapidly approaches soccer on the world scale. He has made the NBA a marketing juggernaut that basically prints money with it's forward thinking marketing and promotions. But Spiderman taught us that with great power comes great responsibility, and Stern is beginning to abuse his power.

It started last season with the de-urbanization of the sport. Basically requiring that players wear suits on game-days and to NBA functions in place of their normal attire. That's fine. My coach in college made us wear suits on game-days too. There is nothing wrong with that. But his newest rule dubbed the "Rasheed Wallace Rule" is rearing it's ugly head to start the season. For those of you who don't know what this rule is, in its essence it means that players who bitch after calls will get a technical foul called on them. On the surface this seems like a fair rule. I hate seeing Sam Cassell spend 30 seconds bitching to the refs after every foul called against the Clippers as much as the next guy. In fact, I hate seeing Sam Cassell at all. Seriously, looking at him gives me nightmares. But with Stern giving his referees absolute power he has overlooked a couple of gaping loopholes in his own logic:

- What if it is a bad call? Refs suck. They are horrible. They have been getting worse every season for years. Maybe this is why complaining about calls has rapidly increased. So now what does he expect players to do after getting a horrible call? Apparently he wants them to simply smile, then dance a little jig for his own entertainment. Preferably with tap shoes.

- It goes against natural human reaction. When we as fans go to a game and see someone get a foul called that we think is a clean block, we immediately yell something along the lines of, "COME ON!!!" Some of us go a bit further, but everyone has at least that reaction. Contrary to what most have heard, NBA players are human too. They react the exact same way. Now that natural reaction will result in them being tossed from the game.

- You can't give absolute power to refs. As I said before refs suck. They have been getting worse and worse for years. Now they suddenly have the power to throw anyone they don't like out of games without repercussions. Refs are human too, they develop grudges and dislikes for certain players. Take Rasheed Wallace for example. Not surprisingly he was thrown out of the first game of the season. I fully expect him to get at least 50+ technical fouls this season. What was surprising was seeing Carmelo Anthony being quickly thrown from the game to start the 2nd half against the Clippers. First, he was thrown out for a bogus reason and second, he is CARMELO FRIGGIN ANTHONY!! Aren't superstars supposed to get several warnings before they are ejected? Nobody at that game paid good money to watch some ref throw Melo out so they could watch Yakhouba Diawara and Linus Kleiza play the 3 for the Nuggets for an entire half. They paid good money to watch Carmelo.

What are the initial results from the new rule? Well, in the first couple days we saw 3 of the NBA's elite players ejected from games (Rasheed, Carmelo, and Mike Bibby) and at least two of those ('Sheed, and Carmelo) were unwarranted. And as a result the real people suffering are the fans. Like I said, excessive complaining should be stopped. That said, you can't take away someones ability to voice concern when a bad ref makes a bad call. Stern's new rule brings memories of past dictators who also silenced the opposition. Names like Stalin, Hitler, Hussein, Darth Vader, and Dr, Evil come to mind.

So what is next for Commissioner Adolfo Sternler? I have a few ideas of what he has in store for the future:

1.) Before the start of every game all players must lineup at mid-court, turn towards Stern, put their hands on their chests, and and pledge allegiance to him by shouting, "We who are about to play salute you!!" Similar to the movie Gladiator.

2.) All players will remove their own names from the back of their jerseys and replace them with the name "Stern", "Lord Stern", or "Sterno the Magnificent"

3.) Everyone will be required to shoot left handed. Unless of course you are already left-handed, in which case you will be kicked out of the league.

4.) Basketball shoes will be replaced with designer dress shoes. Black only. With the only exception being that you are wearing a brown belt while playing. In this case, matching brown shoes are acceptable.

5.) Anyone who listens to rap music will be banned from the league. That goes for hip-hop, R&B, and Rock & Roll as well. Music played in the arenas will be limited to Sinatra, Perry Como, and a choice of several good polkas.

6.) Stern will be able to stop games and anytime and make two players of his choice fight to the death.

7.) In an effort to bring the game back to the style of the 80's, the new synthetic basketballs will be replaced with those old rubber ones you used to play with in grade school. Stern doesn't care if they make your fingertips bleed, it's time to get the game back to it's roots.

Hopefully Herr Stern will figure out the mistake he has made this season before it truly gets out of hand. Giving refs the ability to throw someone out of a game for an initial reaction to a call is too much. It's just a matter of time before the players are pushed to their limits and someone like Stephen Jackson goes.... well... Stephen Jackson on one of the refs.

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