Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is immortal. At least that's what I hear from my friends who are Florida fans and from readers who I don't even know.

It's possible that there is not a single man or woman in Gainesville who wouldn't like to have Tebow's baby. It's insane.

A year ago, grown men in Alabama wept over the fact that Tebow chose to go to Florida (and that Mike Shula was still their coach) and now you get the feeling that if there was a threat against Tebow's life, there are about three million Gator fans who would gladly take a bullet for him. Yep, he's 19 years old and in the eyes of Gators across the country, Tebow can do no wrong.

Want more? Tebow's name is already a verb. My friend Neville has text messaged me lots of times this season with this simple word, "Tebow'd." Occasionally he gets creative and writes, "You've been Tebow'd." I have to grin and bear this.

Worse, I might have to grin and bear it for the next three years. Superman had kryptonite, Green Lantern had to carry an actual green lantern and Jeremy Piven killed Kobe Tai while having sex with her in Very Bad Things but what flaw does Tebow have?

I'm just waiting for the article to be written about him scoring a 2400 on his SAT and I live in constant fear that my editor is going to e-mail me and say, "Clay, Tim Tebow is going to be writing the ClayNation column for the next three years."

This year, Tebow has already managed to make the quarterback sneak an art form, shown that a left-handed Uncle Rico-esque throwing motion can be effective and executed a jump touchdown pass.

Next year, I believe Tebow might just jump over the line of scrimmage at midfield and not land until he reaches the end zone. Either that or he's going to bring back the goaline offense no matter where the Gators are on the field.

Florida is going to announce that they no longer need wide receivers to take advantage of fancy offensive gimmickry like the "forward pass."

Already Tebow's the most difficult white man to tackle since Bill Clinton pulled into a parking lot featuring a rib joint alongside a strip club.

In the process, Tebow has become every other SEC fans' least favorite football player. And he's only a freshman. Here's a ClayNation prediction for you: By the time he's a senior (if he stays until he's a senior), Tebow is going to make J.J. Redick seem downright loveable in comparison.

There are many reasons why other fans will detest Tebow. Primarily, however, it's that after every successful play, Tebow jumps up and runs around like he just threw Hacksaw Jim Duggan over the top rope to win the Royal Rumble. Also, as discussed above, it's possible that Tebow is actually flawless. Each of these traits that conspire to make him detested by opposing fans also coalesce among the Gator faithful to make him the greatest thing since Steve Spurrier won the Heisman.

Without further ado, here are 11 signs that Florida has succumbed to Tim Tebow fever:

1. Urban Meyer has forbidden Tim Tebow from ever flexing both his biceps at the same time. The last time Tebow flexed, every coeds' top at the University of Florida miraculously rose at the exact same time. This caused two plane crashes, 96 fender benders and all classes were canceled at the university.

2. The Florida Education Council is rewriting all textbooks to replace references to the bubonic plague with the Tebonic plague.

3. Governor Jeb Bush is rumored to be suggesting that Tim Tebow be named the replacement for both Bobby Bowden at Florida State and Larry Coker at Miami. Tim Tebow would then be head coach at both schools at the same time.

4. Tim Tebow has had to use 14,223 bottles of hair gel this season because once he uses the bottle, there is a riot outside his apartment to get the rest.

Marie Antoinette once said to the masses, "Let them eat cake." Tim Tebow now says, "Let them use my hair gel."

5. Tim Tebow doesn't put popcorn in the microwave, he just stares at the kernels until they pop of their own accord under the piercing power of his gaze.

6. Joakim Noah and Tim Tebow are forbidden from ever being in a campus building with a covered roof at the same time for fear of the spontaneous combustion which would doubtlessly ensue.

7. Every time Tim Tebow goes on a date, the other girls on campus carry the girl he dated to Lake Alice wrapped in uncooked chickens and feed her to the alligators.

8. Word spread that Tim Tebow was thinking about getting a barbwire tattoo on his arm and they became cool again.

9. Once, Tim Tebow took out his mouthpiece and threw it into the stands. It sold the next day on eBay for $14 billion.

10. Tim Tebow once mentioned that he thought gondolas were cool. Now Florida is constructing a canal between his apartment and the football practice complex so that he can glide in comfort. Also, Chris Leak will be piloting the gondola in one of those striped T-shirts.

11. Tim Tebow is going to Halloween parties as himself. This means every man on Florida's campus will have the same Halloween costume this year.

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