A lot has been made in the last few days about the sagging ratings of this year's World Series. It seems we as a nation have lost interest in our National Pastime. Tuesday night it turned out that the majority of our population would rather watch the incredibly gay Joey Lawrence and AC Slater dance the tango than watch the Cardinals and Tigers play game 3.

How is it possible that more people watched these two than Game 3???

Thats fine. It's our right as Americans to watch whatever we choose. In the words of Walter Sobchak, "These are our basic freedoms man!" And if we choose to watch a former member of Blossom prancing around in a shiny pink sleeveless shirt unbuttoned to his belly button than so be it. (This reminds me of a joke.... Know how I know you're gay? Your name is Joey Lawrence.)

But why is it that we are tuning out on baseball? Is it really that bad? In a word, yes. When watched alongside football, basketball, or even hockey, the game is downright boring. A little action followed by copious amounts of waiting around for a little more action. We are a nation suffering from ADD and the slow pace of a baseball game just can't hold our interest.

For me this realization came in the 7th grade. Up to this point in my life I was like every young boy and I was sure that I was going to play professional baseball. I loved baseball.... until my neighbor put a basketball in my hands. I soon came to realize I had a natural skillset of throwing a ball through a metal circle so I joined the local summer rec league. After my first game I started to realize just how boring baseball actually was. Then football season came around and baseball was over for me. I tried playing in 8th grade and could actually be seen lying on my stomach in centerfield on several occasions, and trying to throw the ball to the catcher after every flyball just to keep myself entertained. Yep, baseball was that boring.

So is baseball the most boring sport? After this week I can tell you absolutely without question it is definitely NOT the most boring sport. How do I know this? Because this past Wednesday evening I witnessed, firsthand, a women's dunk contest.... on an 8 foot hoop.

Let me set the stage.

It was Basketball Madness night at CU (our version of Midnight Madness) and I was asked to partake in an alumni game during the festivities. In true Vinny "The Microwave" Johnson style I dropped off a double digit scoring effort in less than 10 minutes. Granted I was shooting at a Kobe Bryant like pace, but that's just how I play the game. Following the alumni game was the girl's scrimmage, followed by the 3 point contest, and the men's scrimmage. The latter was replete with a wide array of dunks, long 3 pointers, and alley oops with no effort at defense whatsoever, leaving the crowd buzzing for the final event of the night... the dunk contest. Little did we know exactly what was in store for us on this chilly Boulder evening.

Both JT and The Microwave can heat up in a hurry

Quietly one of the rims is slowly being lowered. No one pays much attention to it though, as the men are on the other end warming up. Then the announcer says over the PA system, "Up first in the Colorado Buffaloes slam dunk contest.... Bianca Smith!!"

Huh?? Wha....

First attempt, she jumps and lands without attempting a dunk. Next she dribbles in and dunks with two hands. Then she pulls a small 5 year old boy out of the crowd and sets him up under the basket. The crowd gasps in horror as visions of a swift knee to a toddlers face are flashing through all of our minds. She takes it hard directly at this poor soul. "What has he ever done to you!!" I shout at God as she closes in on the little fella.... then she jumps... roughly 12" off the floor... and passes directly to the left side of the boy and dunks the ball. Everyone gasps a sigh of relief.

This is how I pictured the impending dunk attempt involving the toddler

I'll quickly take you through the rest of the dunk contest:

- Girl misses dunk
- Girl does onehanded dunk.
- Girl makes backwards two handed dunk standing directly under the basket (she can touch the rim without jumping)
- Girl misses dunk
- Girl misses dunk
- Girl misses dunk
- Girl lobs ball to self, catches on the ground, then jumps and misses two handed dunk.
- Girl misses two handed dunk but pulls herself onto the rim.
- Girl makes dunk with left hand to win.

Mercifully it ends.

This is basically what the winning dunk looked like except left handed

Now, before you equal rights activists out there start your angry email campaigns labeling me a sexist, know this: I love women's sports. I love watching Maria Sharapova play tennis, I love watching Rachel Wacholder and the rest of women's beach volleyball, I love watching Olympic swimming, I can even enjoy watching women's figure skating when the costume is right. I just don't love watching women's dunk contests, especially on 8 foot hoops.

So is baseball the most boring sport? Despite the horrid ratings I still have to say no. As I learned this past week there are worse things in sport than baseball my friends.

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