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Movie Review: You, Me, and Dupree
08/08/06
by DJ

Well, this movie was pretty much what you saw on the trailers; most of the funny parts were shown on the commercials. Owen Wilson who played Dupree was of course hilarious in his own way and Matt Dillon was somewhat funny at least. His character was pretty much a wuss. He was constantly getting pushed around by his father-in-law, played by Michael Douglas. In a couple of scenes Douglas wanted Dillon’s character to get a vasectomy and kicked his ass with a candlestick, which were mildly humorous. Dillon’s wife however, Kate Hudson, was off the meat rack. I can not stress this enough. It is well worth the $8,000 movie ticket price to see her in two scenes which I will describe at length because I can’t get them out of my mind.

In one scene she is getting ready for bed wearing a white T-shirt and my all time favorite: boy short undies, also of the white cotton variety. These are by far the jammies of champions. She then proceeds to climb on top of Dillon is bed, giving us a very good ass/thigh shot. I think I drooled in my popcorn. It was at this point I decided that Matt Dillon is the luckiest man alive and he has also sold his soul to Lucifer himself. He was in the hottest on screen lesbo scene in history in Wild Things, got to feel up on Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary, and now this. He is the Raul Mondesi of Hollywood. Always on good teams with homerun hitters as a supporting cast yet never does anything. And people only remember, much like Dillon’s signature horse-mouth, that he used to wear his hat incredibly high on his head.

Since when did Matt Dillon start looking like Morrissey?

The next scene that will be forever etched in my dome was a dream that Dillon was having at the dinner table that pissed him off and made him attack Dupree and led to Michael Douglas whipping his ass. He was imagining that Dupree was scheming on Kate Hudson on a yacht. Kate walks out wearing some black swim gear that defies all logic. It was like a bikini/one-piece hybrid and they showed the low ass view when she walked out. This scene catapulted her into my last remaining spot in my top five. Seriously. It had to be done. And it is very difficult to make it into my top five, as it has been almost at a deadlock standstill for years. Like college football in the 90’s when the Top 10 never changed, just the order of the teams occasionally. I have yet to find any still photos of either scene on the web, which is highly unfortunate for me and you, but mostly me.

Well, we couldn't get the poolside photo, but what do we have for them instead?

I would hate on the dude she is married to, that ugly ass musician, but I will not, for several reasons: First, I am ugly as shit and my wife is hot as hell, so I can now give props when dudes overachieve. This is called the Travis/Harrison Theorem.

DJ	DJ's Wife

Secondly, it’s a known fact that musicians pull massive amounts of ass despite most of them being under 5’10” and either foreign, hairy, or both so just by playing the numbers eventually they will strike gold sooner or later. I mean, they are playing with the house’s money to begin with, they can’t lose.

At least the rest of the Black Crowes are really attractive.

Adding some comedy to the movie was that dude from 40 Year Old Virgin, the one with the beard and the tattoos, Seth Rogan. He plays this whipped character that befits the married male stereotype of how they used to party and now have to go home before dark and never get to see any of their friends, and parlayed the feeling that women ruin everything. Which is completely and utterly 100% NOT far from the truth… But that is a different story.

Seth Rogan, also of the extremely successful show Undeclared.

Michael Douglas was moderately funny. But not really so I don’t know why I typed that. Owen Wilson carried the comedy with his usual antics. They are funny and to me at least will never get old. One of the most hilarious scenes was when he gets caught masturbating to Asian hardcore porn. That shit was pretty good. The movie also seemed long. Like it just couldn’t find a way to end itself. I also remember one thing that bothered me. There is a scene when Dupree hooks up with a Mormon librarian. There were several opportunities throughout the movie to show the chick, but they made a special effort not to. Like what you see in the previews of her leg being up is the most you see of her in the whole movie. I thought this was for a reason like a cool cameo of a hot chick like Goldie Hawn for a twist, but it turns out there wasn’t, seeing how there was a Lance Armstrong cameo. They could have thrown us somebody, anybody hot. It was almost weird. This brings me to a point. I defy you to find a hotter mother daughter combo than Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson. There aren’t any. Hopefully Susan Sarandon and Demi Moore’s kids might grow up to be hot, but probably not. And the Lohans don’t count because her mom isn’t an actress, she is a leach. And Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom is too old, that’s gross.

The ultimate wrinkly old lesbian fantasy

To sum it up, the movie was OK and funny enough to be entertaining to watch. And Kate Hudson just has a crazy hot body to make it better. Overall grade: B.

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