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The arrival of Lillian Carter Nagi:
The First Ever Childbirth Game Diary
04/14/06
by Mark Nagi

My wife Jennifer and I had decided that after 2 years of marriage we would begin trying to have a child, so starting in the end of June, we began what was a surprisingly quick journey to pregnancy....we were blessed enough to have "one stop shopping," if you know what I'm sayin'.

Over the following 9 months, major moments were everywhere. The due date (April 8th), the sex of the baby (a girl), my first time spending over $2000 on anything that wasn't a house or a car. Yes, we should be owning stock in Babies R Us.

Time marched on, cribs and strollers and rockers and pack n plays were assembled, all leading up to an inducement date of April 5th.

Then came March 31st...

Jen and I went to the doctors office for our weekly visit. She had been feeling different that morning, and thought this could be the day for our daughters arrival... The doctors office was jam packed with moms, dads and kids. After 30 minutes waiting I had this conversation with the receptionist.

Me: "Excuse me, we've been waiting 30 minutes.... My wife is 39 weeks pregnant."
Her: "Is she in any pain?"
Me: (pause) "She's 39 weeks pregnant...."

Shouldn't the words "39 weeks pregnant" get you to the front of any line? Especially at a doctor's office?

For a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes we waited. My wife left the room to call work. I sat there... waiting... and waiting. After being told at the 30 minute mark that we there were 2 people ahead of us, and 8 had gone in, then hearing the receptionist tell a lady slimmer than Nicole Richie that had just arrived that she was next,
I immediately stood up and shot the receptionist a look that must have been quite scary, because she got up and said she would "check what's going on."

My wife is now back in the room. I say to her very loudly that "I'm going to flip out." Jen tells me to relax, she says something to the receptionist.

We are immediately led back to see the doctor. The doctor tells us that Jen is in labor. I was surprised Jen wasn't told by the receptionist to have the baby in the waiting room.

Upon arrival at the hospital we are led into our own room, I start calling family to let them know the baby will be here soon. After a few hours of nurse visits and monitor checks, the doctor comes in, and tells us that "we aren't happy with your baby's heartbeat, we have to go get your baby now."

The next 30 minutes was a blur, filled with silent prayers.... at 5:47pm, our daughter Lillian Carter made her appearance. She was kind of pink and puffy.... yelling those first "what just happened here!" cries.

We had our daughter. My wife a mom. Me a Dad.

You see, normally when you anticipate something, like the Super Bowl, or the next Milli Vanilli CD, you have an end date. You wait and wait and wait, and then it is over. When your baby is born, all that anticipation immediately changes to reality. The reality for me was this. I had no idea what I was doing.

Jen took to it immediately. Throw in a minivan and you'd think she's been a mom for years. I, on the other hand, looked like Isiah Thomas in a conversation with any other NBA GM. "Our next 3 first round picks for Shawn Kemp? Deal!"

Kemp also took surprisingly well to fatherhood. "Another day, another bastard," he often remarked.

When Lillian cried, I first tried to speak loudly over her yelling, asking her what was wrong. Not a good move. Then I tried to change diapers with the skill of Carl Lewis signing the national anthem. I'm surprised Lillian didn't stand up and walk out of the room right there and then.

When Lillian cried, I found myself holding her, dancing around, singing songs, trying to find words that rhyme with Lillian. I think it's the first song ever mentioning actress Ann Jillian and Killian's Irish Red in the same verse.

Yes, that's right, you are the Ann Jillian referenced in newfound father Mark Nagi's lyrical stylin.

When Lillian cried, I thought that I was doing something to cause the crying. I offered her $50 to stop crying, to no avail. The answer most of the time? Give her to mommy. Mommy and baby have been together for 9 months, and are on the same cosmic wavelength. Daddy is the mean man that changes her diapers.

All my friends that have babies kept telling me "Get your sleep now." But come on, how much sleep do you really need? Well, the answer is apparently more than 2 hours a night on a twin pullout couch. I'm 6"1'. Even curled up in the fetal position, rest didn't work out well.

For four days we stayed at the hospital. I made many late night trips down the hallways in my t-shirt and pajama bottoms to get Jen cranberry juice and sprite... I'd see other new dad's with the same happy, cloudily, tired look on their faces. Like a new world has just opened up before them.... because it has.

We came home on April 4th. Our dog Comet was very happy to see her baby sister. Which was a pleasant development considering that Comet gets jealous of stuffed animals. She handles Lillian's crying better than me.

I think that there is goodness in everyone, a scale that ranges from Mother Teresa to Pol Pot. My wife is somewhere closer to the former. If men had babies the human race would cease to exist. There is nothing easy about having a baby, and she has won the physical and emotional battles to bring us a happy healthy baby. I love her very much.

   
Could these two people actually be the same?

Yes, I know, I'm about one step away from becoming a "Promise Keeper," signing koom-by-ya, quitting my job as a sportscaster to open a day care center. But the Vols passing game issues seem to be more insignificant by the day..... There are more important things in life, like making sure Lillian gets all the opportunities my parents gave to me.

That being said, we are accepting donations to the "Baby Nagi Foundation." For less than the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can make a difference in a young person's life. You can make direct deposits to our "Babies R Us" bill.

I gotta go. Lillian needs her diaper changed.

Mark Nagi is a Sports Anchor/Reporter at WATE-TV in Knoxville.

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