DH Columnist JT recently gained Internet notoriety for a column which depicted the ins and outs of his patented "BSR" (beard-success ratio). While chronicling this phenomenon, it was determined that Shaw's beard was by all rights the most ferocious of all the columnists on Deadly Hippos (or any other Internet site, for that matter):

As the series of thumbnail photos chronicled by this site indicates (see Shaw's bio page for a history), columnist Shaw has made it a point to change his appearance regularly. This included some beard manipulations intended to surprise and frighten, including the above (which has oft been called a dead-ringer for Saddam Hussein), and the below photo from Halloween 2005 (to which my father responded that I had dressed as him, and to which many of the undergraduates at the party I attended that night responded, "Ohmygod, like, I totally thought you were, like old!" When I said, "no, I'm 26!" they responded, "Like, ohmygod, you really are old!").

No, my father doesn't use a cane.

Given these photos it shouldn't surprise you to know that there have been significant reactions from the many readers of this site as well as other sources. For instance, DJ showed these photos to his teammates in Finland, with the following response:

SHAW, dude i just showed my teammates your new f-ing picture and these are the responses elicited: Duany: "damn, what's wrong wit dat nigga? he got problems yo!!" Me: "That dude is funny as hell." Al Mouring: "Those are the kind of white people i'm afraid of." Me: "Guys, he's not a psycho he's just a guy good at taking hilarious pics of himself." (Silence ensues for about 3 minutes) Duany: "He has a crazy beard though!" kudos on the pics dude. they are hilarious. even thousands of miles away, i have to defend your sanity, so they have the desired effect another Duany quote: "dudes beard is bananas! it looks like he gots a fox hidin on his neck!"

Of course the venerable Duany is the very same who won the national championship with Syracuse, and in tribute to both he and his older brother who played for Wisconsin, I thought this photo would be appropriate, as I happened to own regalia from both of the Duany teams, though not quite the standard fare:

Dear Duanys: thank you for reading DH.

Unfortunately for Mouring, I do not possess any UConn gear. Anyway such a thing would make my friend Shekhar, who watches "Yes UConn!" and "Connquest!" every night before bed, just too happy.

Another DHer, JT, confirmed my above suggestion: "Please refer to SHAW's new pic... His BSR rating has absolutely skyrocketed."

When I first started growing this horrid animal, I saw my friend Alyson out at a bar, for the first time in months. Before any pleasantries could be exchanged, before I could even say hello, she spat out, "Idon'tlikeitshaveit." I later received a message from her that said simply "^%$#$*!!!!" (this is actually a quote). Another person who noticed my photo said, "I have to tell you the picture is frightening."

I received three other messages from friends reacting to the beard photo:

Brooke: "I am not sure how I feel about the beard." Abbey: "wow" Kalumanda: "vi@gra, c1@lis, 0eM software, click here ;-)"

In short, most of the reactions I have received have been less than favorable. The only people who appreciated the beard look have been fellow aspiring mathematicians, and some established mathematics professors. Needless to say one cannot put much stock in the fashion and aesthetic sense of a mathematician.

The one thing that sticks out about most of the negative comments that I have gotten seems to be the undercurrent of fear experienced by people beholding my visage. What is it about white guys with long beards that frightens people? Half-determined to find this out, I did an apathetic google image search for "Scary Beard" which yielded the following:

scary? inexplicably, yes.

This search satisfied my curiosity. Yes, these people all frighten me. Hopefully it is my turn to add to the google images "scary beard" list.

Because of my friend Alyson's superlative hatred for the disgusting facial hair I have been carting around, I chose her to be the lucky witness to the reversal of my deformity this weekend. Given my considerable facial locks, I decided that on the road from frightening to family-friendly,

I would make stops at (in order): Scary, psycho, chin strap, biker, ancient kung-fu warrior, 1970s cop (Serpico), and child molester (if you can find a better description of that mustache, let me know). I hope you enjoy the below photo-chronicle. Make it your desktop and frighten your coworkers.

scary	psycho
chin strap	biker
ancient kung-fu warrior	70s cop (Serpico)
child molester	normal?

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