As Tardio previously mentioned, Beauty and the Geeks is back. And I for one could not be more excited. My role in this "social experiment" is to keep the DH faithful up to speed as to how geeky the geeks can actually be. I don't want to get carried away, but lets just say that this season's geeks could out geek last season's any day of the week.... well, except for Richard.

Meet the Geeks -

Brandon - Imagine you're a teenage boy and you go to school at the University of Miami. We've all seen "The U" play football on TV and understand the hotness level of the female stude nt body. A normal man in this situation would most likely decide to be enrolled in his school longer than Van Wilder, while attempting to bed as many co-eds and coked out models as possible. Brandon graduated in 2 1/2 years.... in neurobiology... and was the president of the chess club. I think you missed a golden opportunity there buddy. On top of all this he always buttons the top button on his polo's and tucks his shirt in but wears no belt. Shockingly, Brandon is considered a geek and makes it on this show.

Odds of winning 1,000,000:1 (he already has been kicked out... but you never know)

Male model? Nope, its just Brandon

Josh - If anyone can give Richard a run for his money this season it is Josh. With his white man's afro, mutton chops, glasses, and a social anxiety disorder, Josh is the producers Golden Boy. We expect big things from you this season Josh.... big things.

Odds of winning 2.5:1

Tyson - Tyson's claim to fame is that he is the world record holder for the fastest time solving a rubix cube. If you're like me you're probably thinking, "They still have rubix cubes?" Apparently they do. Either that or Tyson has had the same one since 1987 and has spent everyday since (when he isn't studying for school) by himself in a room solving it faster and faster. I just wonder how long Tyson can ride the Rubix wave in this game, I'm not sure if he knows how to do anything else.

Odds of winning 7:1

Wes - In the real world, Wes is currently working on a laser that tracks monkeys, which is great because we all know that monkeys are the real terrorists in this world. They think they can just walk around the jungles of the world throwing poo at whomever they want whenever they want... well not anymore! Wes' laser will track them down wherever they hide and take them out! That said, I think Wes has an outside shot at this simply because he was paired with Sarah and her... um... friends that live in her shirt. She is quality television my friends.

Odds of winning 10:1

Ankur - Ok. I don't know how to adequately describe this with words. Ankur has a circle of hair that surrounds his face. He has a uni-brow, and his facial hair attaches to the ends of said uni-brow on either side. Next he shaves his beard so that the hair completes the circle around his face. He looks like the circus dogface boy... If he passed out after a drinking binge and the other carnies decided to play a prank on him by shaving half of his face. Seriously he looks like he is always dirty. I imagine if the dust cloud eternally following the Peanuts character pigpen were to dissipate, Ankur's face would appear from the cloud. And this guy graduated from MIT! You think someone with that level of intelligence could figure out how to properly operate and apply a razor. Odds of winning - 3:1. Odds of ending up in Porno - 1:1.5

Joe - Speed chess champion. Yep, Joe is a speed chess champion. What is speed chess you ask? I don't know either. But judging from the name it is chess played at high speed. It still doesn't sound exciting does it. Oh yeah, and Joe has the largest pair of man boobs I have ever seen.

Odds of winning - 15:1

Chris - Looks like he is ready to step into the role of Chuck from season one. You know, most of these "geeks" are kind of self-loathing nice guys who are socially inept. Chris seems to be a mentally egotistic prick who is also socially inept. The kind of winning personality that gets you stapled to the bulletin board in the cafeteria in High School.

Odds of winning - 6:1

Karl - aka "Dungeon Master". And that is not meant in the freaky S & M way it is in the "I play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday night with my other geeky friends" way. I think Karl is a big time sleeper in this competition. He is one of those underrated geeks that looks like he can somehow keep getting it done while staying below the radar. Sort of like the Rip Hamilton of the geek world.

Odds of winning - 8:1

Now that we've met the geeks, here is a quick run of what they have been up to:

The first night Josh has a panic attack when he realizes that he will have to sleep in the same room as a hot woman. He eventually ends up sleeping in the closet. I swear to God I am not making that up.

While studying with these women it becomes obvious that none of the Geeks have ever been around people near the level of stupidity, or people who care so little about studying. They are flabbergasted as one of the beauties quits after 5 minutes of studying to "take a power nap" by the pool.

During Wes' karaoke performance Sarah rips her shirt off to reveal her shockingly wonderful breasts. I have no idea how Wes kept from sporting wood on stage, I got a halfy and I was sitting a thousand miles away.

I see another great pair of breasts bouncing up and down... no wait, that was just Joe and his manboobs again as he attempts to get the crowd to jump during his performance.

Tyson wins the karaoke challenge when he busts out his Rubick's cube and quickly solves it to the delight of the crowd. This is a one trick horse my friends.

They decide to throw a toga party. The guys are around stunningly beautiful half nak ed women who are drinking and ready to have a good time. So naturally the guys want to do a runway show. Only the geeks want to be the models. The beauties actually seemed a bit disappointed that the geeks didn't try to hit on them. Any chance they have ever had of hooking up with women this hot just left the house.

Brandon is out. He claims to have learned a lot from the girls, in 28 hours... apparently just not how to unbutton the top button of his shirt. Sadly, Amanda has to leave the show with him. How can we lose possibly the hottest beauty in the first week? This vexes me... I am truly vexed.

Sarah - Gone too soon

Week 3 -

In week 3 the geeks:

-- Cheer and high five like crazy when told they will NOT be spending the night in the mansion with all the hot girls. This is the opposite reaction most heterosexual men would have to this news. As they are walking out the door Josh turns to wave goodbye to the girls and Tristan yells out, "Now they bring in the beautiful men for us!!" The pain in Josh's face is palpable. Jennipher tries to come to the rescue by saying rather unconvincingly, "No, they just left". Now Josh knows how these girls really feel. His ginger afro seems to sag a bit as he lowers his head and sulkingly leaves the house.

-- The geek mission this week is to decorate a bedroom. As you can imagine, this is not an easy task*.

*Note to the producers - These guys are geeks, they aren't gay. No straight man I know has any clue how to decorate anything. Hell, I had to hire my step-mom to decorate my apartment because all I had were posters of Bruce Lee, the movies Goodfellas and Animal House, some posters of Elway era Broncos teams and myself playing basketball, and with those on my wall and my X-Box I was perfectly happy.

Back to the Geeks decorating:

--Wes goes psycho stalker / murderer and writes in blood next to the clock the phrase "time stands still when I'm with you". Oddly enough, the girls are now terrified of him.

--Chris says, "I know more about the mating habits of beluga whales than I know about interior decorating, and I know nothing about the mating habits of beluga whales." I appreciate the attempt at humor Chris... but you aren't fooling anyone. You know everything about the mating habits of beluga whales.

--Josh staples a teddy bear to the wall for his kid themed room, proving that he most likely isn't safe around small children. Seriously. You staple the kids teddy bear to the wall? Why don't you just punch his mom in the face right in front of him, it might be less traumatic.

--At the store Chris asks around "what is a duvet?" (mispronouncing it doo-vet). I am actually very proud of Chris for following the Maniquette code in reference to duvets on this one. No man knows what a duvet is or why it even exists.

--Joe has sweat through his shirt outlining his huge manbreasts in the process. I swear when this show is over Joe is going to make a small fortune being the spokesman for "the bro" from Seinfeld.

The girls have to plug in a computer, get online, download a song then play it for their task this week. They are alowed to ask the guys 2 yes or no questions leading to this exchange:

Tristin asks Chris - "Do I need to plug the moniter in?"
Chris responds - "No, don't worry about that... actually yeah"
Tristin's head then exploded.

After the contests, Josh (who suffers from anxiety attacks) decides he needs to confront Cher about how she treats people. I can't wait for this, I think Josh may actually drown in his own vomit before he is able to work up the courage to pull this off.

When announcing who will go to the elimination round, Josh is seen carrying a man purse. First of all Josh, men do not carry purses... ever. Even when our girlfriends are trying on clothes at mall, we still don't carry them. We simply throw them on the ground as soon as the girls are out of sight. Second, what the hell was so important that it needed to be stowed away in a man purse and then bro ught to the announcement of the elimination round participants? My guess, some sort of assault weapon. I'm just not sure when the pressure is going to finally push Josh over the edge.

Once again Tristin and Chris survive the elimation round and live to fight another week in a shocking upset of Tyson and Thais. Tyson was last seen sitting in the corner with his knees pulled tightly to his chest, rocking back and forth slowly uttering "I can still solve the rubix cube faster than you" while drawing a replica of the Mona Lisa on an etch-a-sketch at an incredible speed. Actually Tyson is going to be on some random WB show next week where he is going to play.... wait for it.... a geek.

Overall it has been an incredibly solid first three weeks and I can't wait to see how this one plays out.