Let's face it, at times college sports make less sense than punting in Tecmo Super Bowl.

Game after game and season after season, college sports teach us to defend the inexplicable and rationalize the irrational. The NCAA even had a slogan about wagering on athletics memorably phrased, "Don't Bet on It." Remember those commercials where prime-time college athletes, Michael Vick, Peyton Manning and others would stare down the camera and warn you about placing your hard-earned money on their games? In fact when you really think about it, the entire point of these commercials was that college athletes were too unreliable to risk betting on. This was why I always wished the NCAA had more fun with these commercials.

For instance, why not have Vick standing in front of a sorority house while winsome lasses -- wearing jerseys that would comfortably fit 8-year olds -- try to entice him inside. Just before entering the sorority house, Vick could turn to the camera and say: "You think I care about covering against Rutgers?" Bang. I think college gambling might die at this exact moment.

For my money this makes much more sense than "Don't Bet on It." Plus, it proves the point that college athletes have better lives than you or I and have other priorities than covering the spread on a snowy night in New Brunswick, N.J.

So admittedly, making sense of college athletics is difficult. That's what makes it such a joyful occasion when clarification can be found. Within the friendly confines of this column, these occasions are henceforth known as ClayNation Canons. And today, we're going to examine ClayNation Canon No. 12:

Canon No.12: "When you are an SEC team and Vanderbilt beats you at home in your primary sport ..." (Getty Images)
"When you are an SEC team and Vanderbilt beats you at home in your primary sport of renown, your program has seismic issues which demand remedying."

I'm a Vanderbilt graduate, so I'm not trying to take anything away from Vandy by applying this Canon. But it's also worth noting that for the most part, Vanderbilt's athletes are actually students. For instance, in my first year of law school, Vandy started a safety who had scored a perfect 1600 on the SAT. I'm not even sure whether every other starting safety in the SEC combined would equal this score.

But the downside to actually being a student-athlete in the SEC is that all too often you lose ... and lose badly. When you get right down to it, Vanderbilt is the only school in the SEC where students could ever trump athletes in the immortal student-athlete conjunction. This means that Vanderbilt is going to attain sundry unimportant accomplishments like highest SAT scores, highest GPA, actually graduating their athletes and having players who have mastered basic levels of literacy. But it also means that every other SEC school should beat them. And it definitely means that every SEC school should beat them at home in their primary sport.

Now that we've gotten past the introduction, it's time to apply ClayNation Canon No. 12. On Nov. 19, 2005, a 4-6 Vanderbilt team traveled to Neyland Stadium to take on a 5-5 University of Tennessee football team. When all was said and done, Vanderbilt won 28-24. This was Vanderbilt's first victory over Tennessee in 22 years (for the record, I was 3 years old the last time Vanderbilt won there).

Philip Fulmer, UT's coach, described this as hitting "rock bottom" and subsequently fired the wide receivers and offensive line coach and sent out an e-mail apologizing to the entire Tennessee fan base for the season. (My friend Doug remarked that he was surprised any UT fans had e-mail addresses ... or computers). Meanwhile, Vanderbilt released a DVD highlight film of this game entitled Victory in Knoxville. Seriously.

Right now, every Kentucky basketball fan knows what is coming. On Tuesday, Vanderbilt won at Kentucky for the first time in 31 years (this was six years before I was born). After all the sound and fury about Randolph Morris' return, all he added was one more befuddled face on the sideline. As if this weren't enough, just one day prior, Kentucky had already dropped out of the top 25 for the first time since February 2001 (88 consecutive polls).

Then came Tuesday and Vandy's 57-52 victory. This result established beyond a shadow of doubt that Kentucky's basketball program was truly in need of some form of rapid rehabilitation. I watched this game with my friend Tardio at a Nashville sports bar and have the following seven observations and opinions culled from the Vandy game and my other viewings of Kentucky this season:

1. The Wildcats shoot 3-pointers like they are throwing grenades during the Battle of the Bulge. Further, the majority of these attempts are contested and appear to be the type of shots that could be taken at any point in the game, without the need for overrated basketball skills such as dribbling or passing. Joe Crawford is the best at this; he's good for at least three 3-point attempts that come with no discernible pattern or thought process.

2. Rajon Rondo is going to be a great point guard ... in his third year in the NBA. (This pains me to say because after much debate during his freshman year, my friend Neville and I both independently selected him as the SEC player we would most like to be.) Right now Rondo appears to be this close to strangling Crawford at any moment, which leads me to surmise that the two of them are not bonding over late-night Krystal runs.

3. Patrick Sparks would not be starting for Western Kentucky right now. He leads the team in lazy backcourt passes, awkward gait and bad haircuts. Also, I think he may play this entire season without jumping. On the positive side, he is guaranteed to give you at least two great assists each game, during which time the other team seems in total shock that he is actually driving with the basketball.

4. Morris is a good player, but Kentucky fans expect way too much from him. This is the same guy who averaged eight points and four rebounds and, after making himself available for the NBA Draft, was not selected by teams which notoriously take young guys based upon "upside." Yet somehow Morris morphed into Kevin Garnett during his absence. He'll be fine, but he can't make outside shots for the guards ... and Kentucky fans who thought his absence was the root of their problems were fooling themselves.

5. A die-hard Wildcats friend of mine, who has requested anonymity because he doesn't want to hurt the program, describes Kentucky's three 7-foot centers as "21 feet of clown." I think this is self-explanatory. It also represents the first source requesting anonymity in ClayNation history.

6. Defense is going to keep Kentucky in most games this season. Unfortunately for the Wildcats, their offense is also going to keep every other team in the game. In the immortal words of Tardio, "We're like this year's Alabama football team; if we win the score is going to be something like 6-3."

7. Tubby Smith is trying everything to find a lineup that works. Against Vanderbilt, he played 12 different players with limited success. Ultimately, there just aren't that many good basketball players on this team. I think this is the most jarring observation. Particularly to the casual Kentucky fan -- of which there seem to be millions, thanks to the outlandish success of their basketball program. (These are the fans who don't bother to keep up with games for a couple of weeks in a row, notice a couple of losses, and say, "Man, I really miss Rick Pitino.")

This year's Kentucky team has lost to all four teams they've played in the RPI top 50 and has lost to another team outside the top 100 (a misplaced and young Kansas) by 27. Further, Vandy didn't really play all that well in ending its 31-game win streak, and appeared to simply have better players than Kentucky. While this might be difficult to swallow for Wildcats fans accustomed to past glory, currently this basketball team just isn't that good.

And until Kentucky recognizes the program recommitment necessitated by ClayNation Canon No. 12, there are going to be several dark days before the Wildcat Nation can step into SEC sunlight and dominate once again. Unfortunately for Kentucky fans, Tubby Smith does not seem to have grasped the inherent brilliance of Canon No. 12. As is, I can't wait until the Vanderbilt athletic department releases, Victory in Lexington.

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