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The OC: Back with a vengeance
9/21/05
by Tardio

For 52 minutes, episode 2 of season 3 OC disappointed me.

It's time for another worthless analogy to describe what I felt like for 52 minutes: Imagine you're watching your favorite NCAA team in the first round of the tournament. They're a solid 3-seed, but they're hot coming into the first round. They've won 9 straight, including the conference tournament, and come in with a respectable 22-9 record. You're pumped; the school is pumped; your team is the chic pick to go to the Final Four (see Gonzaga recent years, also see Miami (OH) in the Wally Zserlakjfa;sdfabiak years). But, you know they have holes. You know their lack of a big rebounder can be exposed if they run into a Big-Ten team with some corn-fed honky who sucks in 15 rebounds a game but has range that ends at the lower block. Then, in the first round, they get exposed and almost beaten. Some guy who wasn't recruiting by anyone outside the Horizon League hangs 28 on your McDonald's all-American point guard. Your team is not the chic pick anymore, but they're still in the tourney. Then, in the second round, they have to face some 10 seed that played 19 games on ESPN that year, but none that tipped before 11 pm CST, so you have no idea how good they are. Then, in the second round game, facing elimination, 4:00 tv timeout, your team goes on a 16-2 run to close out the game and you're so relieved. Let the real tourney begin.

Well, my friends, if you're still reading this piece of trash column, that is exactly how the first two episodes of OC have been. I know the OC is at least a 3-seed. I know that OC comes from a power conference, a conference that has produced such reality mega-hits as The Littlest Groom and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and, lest we forget, 90210. I know that OC has the potential to get to the big stage (season 1 was a clear National Championship game level performance), but why was it stuck in first gear for the entire episode one and 52 minutes of episode 2? Then, BANG, just like that, the 16-2 run and OC is back in contention for that second Final Four appearance in three years.

What was the "bang"? None other than "Bomber Jacket" Atwood taking a swing at the new Dean of Something Involving Discipline at Harbor at the school carnival. You see, Dean Dipsh*t made the mistake of expelling Marissa from Harbor. (All she did was shoot someone, c'mon, can't the kids have fun anymore?) He had the audacity to enforce the suspension when Marissa showed up at the school carnival. He had the double-audacity to touch Marissa's arm when he attempted to eject her from the school carnival. You see, "Bomber Jacket" doesn't take that crap, especially from some uptight, east-coast jacka*s who thinks he can walk in and expel his girl from school. BJA throws a haymaker at Dean Dipsh*t (bet he wasn't expecting that) and struts out, hair blowing in the wind, Marissa in tow, with a bloody fist, off into the night as the resident bad-ass that he is.

With that, the solid 3-seed OC is back in action. It took until the 4-minute timeout for it to wake-up, but it did with a bang. I expect an all-out full-court press from now on – "Bomber Jacket" punching people, Jimmie screwing clients out of money, Julie bedding high school seniors, Kirsten knocking back vodka-tonics at 9 am – and will be sorely disappointed if OC doesn't reach the Final Four again.

Also, we received an email from a reader regarding last week's OC review from Nate "Las Vegas" Lloyd pointing out an omission from last week's column:

"In regards to your OC review (season 3 opener), you forgot to mention the absolutely ridiculous cliché regarding Trey's departure from the show. If you will notice, the bus is headed to Las Vegas, of all places. Really, that's the best McG could come up with? Trey is headed to Vegas? Why not back to Chino? If he's running from the law, why not Mexico? Just some thoughts, keep up the good work."

I believe this provides still further credence as to why the first episode of The OC really sucked. There were so many horrible parts, it was hard to catalogue them all in one column. Until next week.

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