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The OC has returned after a respite for baseball, which gave us the chance to watch the ChiSox-Astros series, also known as "Play four innings, watch Ozzie Guillen yell something to Joe Buck about Venezuela in between-innings dugout interview, play four more innings, watch random White Sox player dong to go ahead by a run or two, then watch Fat Relief Pitcher (FRP) close it down while Buck tells us (again) that FRP started the season in Double A. (Granted, I rarely made it to the end of these games since each featured a start time that put it in the same time slot as Letterman, Veg-o-matic infomercials, and Cinemax soft porn). Regardless, we've got the OC back, and it came pretty solidly Thursday night. Let's examine the storylines:

Jeri Ryan (when is she going to leave the show?!) has now turned her sights toward extorting Julie out of some money. You'll remember that she had intended to shaft Kirsten out of some cash, but that fell through. Now, she intends to target Julie. Let's think about this…you want to extort some money out of a rich, vulnerable woman. Whom do you pick? A woman with no money who lives in a scummy apartment? Good move, Jeri. You might as well take a homeless guy's wallet. Jeri Ryan is turning out to be the worst make-believe extortionist in the history of cheesy TV dramas. Just compare her to Valerie Malone, who shafted and swindled every character on 90210 out of at least some sex and usually some money for about 6 years running. Jeri's got a lot of learning to do if she wants to follow in the footsteps of Val.

Marissa is starting to fall for some dude at her new public school. I can't remember his name, so I'll just call him Surfer Dude since he looks like he just swam in from filming Point Break II. This guy is trouble. (PS - What about Surfer Dude's Buddy, the guy who has one or two awful lines per show? SDB is absolutely shot if he ever wants to act again. Think Six on Blossom or Seven on Full House…goofy friends with quotas of 25 words/episode…where are they now?) Regardless, SD is about to put the surfer moves on Marissa per the preview for next week. How do you think Ryan will take that?

Taylor and Dean Hess. Plotting and Scheming.

In a pretty stupid plot line, Ryan threatens to run away on a fishing boat. Okay, come on, not even Ryan is that stupid. Anyway, Ryan gets back into Harbor after Summer and Seth hatch a scheme to catch Dean Hess and Taylor Townsend in their little Dean-Student fling. Summer and Seth "sidekick" Taylor, tricking her into coming to meet Dean Hess. Then, Sandy, armed with that information, confronts Dean Hess and uses that information to get Ryan back into Harbor. The best thing about this whole deal is that Sandy, dressed in jet-black Armani suit, executes the blackmail. (FYI - it's a Sunday afternoon, and Sandy still feels it necessary to be wearing the suit. Shades of Caleb Nichol, whom I think slept in his suit.) So, thanks to Summer-Seth-Sandy, Ryan is back in school and (hopefully) ready to punch some people. However, Marissa is still at ghetto public school and about to be surfed away by Surfer Dude.

This was a setup episode, trying to get things squared away before it goes into the Fall and then into the Winter, when all anyone does is sit on the couch, eat, and watch television. That's when OC should make its run. And, remember, it's only six more weeks until the annual Christmakkuh episode. Oh, and one more things OC fans - it seems that Atwood has progressed to the big screen and will do a movie with Pacino. That's got Oscar written all over it. This movie is destined for early video release. Check out the link...

Webmaster's note: While Tardio was busy at work today, the webmaster was perusing the official OC site, where he discovered news much more exciting than any plot development on the show itself. Peter Gallagher, that dashing strong-(eye)browed man, will be performing not as Sandy Cohen but as himself on his new CD, 7 Days in Memphis. According to the OC website (and this is a quote), "Peter Gallagher’s debut cd “7 Days in Memphis” drops November 8th!" Have we gotten to the point now where the word "drop" is the official parlance for a record release? On behalf of all white people everywhere, I apologize to the hip-hop and R&B communities for taking your perfectly sensible language and hijacking it into yet another goofy white malapropism, kind of like when Donnie wore a shirt that said "Homeboy" in the NKOTB video for "Hangin' Tough." Saving grace for the now-respectable Mr. Wahlberg: he seems to regret wearing this shirt, according to an excerpt from this interview:


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