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Mark Nagi is the only reader and email contributor to deadlyhippos who regularly appears in front of a television camera and is a legitimate journalist. Mark is famous for bringing "Bret Smith the touchdown maker" to the masses via WATE (ABC) in Knoxville where he is Sports Anchor/Reporter. He is also from upstate New York (aka the part of the country where Shaw once ruminated and embracesd his self-loathing) and has sworn that if Bret Smith ever tried to attack Clay he would make sure the cameras continued to roll.

Given the fact that Clay would be in the midst of Big 10 country and was unaware whether he would be able to witness this Jefferson Sports telecast of UT-Kentucky live, Mark Nagi stepped forward and extended a helping hand via the pressbox. Mark Nagi also wishes for everyone ot know that he ran a 3:16:11 marathon recently and we surmise that said running likely occurred in shorts of an inappropriately short length.

Mark Nagi: Deadlyhippos favorite sports reporter not named Erin Andrews. (Mark is the one on the left).

Well, the last time I covered a Vols road game was September 26th at LSU. Times certainly have changed since "The Death Valley Rally." Now, a game almost as memorable. 4-6 Tennessee at 3-7 Kentucky. Hope you had your DVR going. If you didn't, no worries. I've got you covered, as Clay has given me the green light to write my first game diary.....

6:20am. I learn that my shampoo is filled with Amino Proteins. I guess this is a good thing.

6:30am. My wife informs me that she is going Christmas shopping. My wife is 5 months pregnant with our first child, so these days I have absolutely no problem with anything she says or does.

8:30am. WATE-TV 6 Sports Photojournalist Garrett Gooch exclaims that he isnt happy to be on this trip. Do you blame him?

8:45am. We enter the Commonwealth of Kentucky. My heart skips a beat. I immediately begin looking for Ashley Judd.

8:55am. Gooch sarcastically asks if ESPN College Game Day will be in attendance. I tell Gooch to get his own diary.

9:10am. First sign of car flags, for both UT and UK. These people obviously didn't read the morning paper. These teams have 7 wins between them.

9:15am. Wife calls while shopping. Informs me that she is buying a table from Bombay Furniture. I immediately calling around, seeing if anyone knows where I can begin selling my own plasma.

9:50am. Just off the interstate, we pass a store. "Little Sack Grocery." You can fill in your own joke.

10:25am. We are inside Commonwealth Stadium. I go to the information booth to try to find out how to get to the press box. No one is manning the information booth. They obviously know information about this game, and made the right decision not to show up.

10:35am. Knoxville TV stations are placed in auxillary seating in the press box. I plan on stealing the seat for the Middlesboro Daily Times.

10:45am. On a monitor, I see ESPN College Gameday detail the fact that UT will be only the 2^nd team that was at one time in the top 5 to field a losing record since 1981. Just another example of ESPN's anti-UT bias. If this was a stat for Notre Dame or a Big Ten school, the intern that found it would have been flogged.

11am. UT managers are playing football on the Commonwealth field. Their passer ratings are higher than Rick Clausen and Erik Ainge this season.

11:40am. I see my cousin Pete Thamel in the press box. Pete writes for the NY Times. He has covered, among other games this year, Texas/Ohio State and USC/Notre Dame. Next week he goes to USC/UCLA. His job is so much cooler than mine.

11:50am. Vols Wide Receivers are now in a huddle, bobbing and weaving. Note that the term "catching" is not written here.

11:55am. Kenny "Sky" Walker makes an appearance in the press box. I wonder if Sam Bowie and Melvin Turpin will be at the game.

12:10pm. It's senior day at Kentucky. # 50 Raymond Fontaine runs out in the field with a video camera on hand. This is like the XFL.

12:31pm. I notice that UK has an inflatable mascot named "Tucky." I love "Tucky."

12:33pm. The Vols change up the lineup, starting freshman Josh Briscoe at one wide receiver spot. I'm sure this move will pay major dividends.

12:49pm. A 55 yard touchdown run by Arian Foster.... defies logic. A Reggie Bush like run. Even Erik Ainge throws a great block. Of course an illegal motion call on UT brings the play back. The flag is on # 80. Josh Briscoe.

12:59pm. Jonathan Hefney fumbles a punt. UK recovers inside the UT 10. The Vols special teams. Always an advantage.

1:02pm. Kentucky kicker Taylor Begley boots a 31 yard field goal. It's 7-3 UT. I wonder if Taylor is related to Ed Jr.

1:05pm. The winner of today's game will finish 5th in the SEC East. I'd like to title this diary "The Drive For 5."

1:08pm. Ainge is called for delay of game. Tough to make play calls with this hostile Wildcats crowd.

1:15pm. On 4th and 2 UK QB Curtis Pulley runs the worst option in the history of college football. UT's defense stops him.

1:18pm. Ainge is sacked, fumbles, UK recovers. Somewhere Jonathan Crompton is smiling.

1:26pm. Ainge throws his second TD pass of the day, a 32 yard strike to Chris Hannon. The pass could have been intercepted. It's 14-3 Tennessee. All the breaks going UT's way.

1:29pm. UK fans take the Vols extra point football, throw it all the way around the stadium, and then out of the stadium. Biggest cheer of the day. Apparently this has become a new tradition at Commonwealth Stadium. What a bunch of dopes.

1:39pm. UK has 4th and inches from the UT 3. A false start is called, Wildcats settle for a field goal. It's 14-6 Tennessee. This might be the worst college football game I have ever been to.

1:45pm. Arian Foster catches an Ainge pass, and runs 78 yards for a touchdown, but no.... another flag thrown. This time it's a Bret Smith hold. That's 2 incredible Foster TD's called back today. Foster now has the permission of Vols fans to kick all Vols WR's in the shin.

1:52pm. UK shows the "Boogie Cam" on the big screen. This is only trumped by the "Kiss Cam" and "The Wave" for fan enjoyment.

1:54pm. CJ Fayton drops a potential game breaking TD pass in the end zone. Make it 19,849 drops this year for Vols WR's....

2:05pm. Ainge's first half numbers. 14 of 19, 201 yards, 2 TD's. 1 INT, 1 fumble. His best 30 minutes of the season.

2:27pm. The press box is freezing. As a reporter, the reason you come to games is for free food, and a warm press box on cold days. A major disappointment. Also, they have served hot dogs all day. I feel like I am at 7-11.

2:28pm. On the monitor I see that JP Sports is interviewing LSU coach Les Miles on the phone during the UT/UK broadcast. This game is so boring that JP is doing a phoner... with Mr. Excitement Les Miles. And I was there. And you are reading about it.

2:34pm. Kevin Simon shoves Pulley 5 yards out of bounds. No flag. Don't the referees realize the Vols are 4-6, and not worthy of calls the good teams always get?

2:40pm. Curtis Pulley fumbles on the UT 10 after the 85th UK QB draw of the day. Simon recovers.

2:50pm. UT is flagged for holding on a punt. Contrary to popular belief, the Vols do work on special teams during practice. A lot. I've seen it.

2:59pm. Vols DT Justin Harrell makes a Dale Jones-esque play. Tipping a pass, which bounces off the QB, then Harrell juggles, catches, and runs 7 yards for a touchdown. If UT wasn't 4-6, this would be remembered in the years to come as "The Play." It's 24-6 UT.

3:07pm. Austin Rogers just gained 26 yards on a reverse for UT. It's obvious that UK's defense is the worst in the SEC.

3:22pm. On 4th and inches Ainge fumbles on a QB sneak. UK recovers. Does AJ Suggs have any eligibility left?

3:38pm. Jim Bob Cooter enters the game, playing WR. Look, I know everyone loves Jim Bob Cooter. I love Jim Bob Cooter. But is UT's WR core that messed up that Cooter gets a play at flanker?

3:48pm. Game ends. Vols win 27-8. The season is over for both teams. Tennessee finishes 5-6. Their first losing season since 1988.

Extra notes. Ainge was called for a safety after not throwing past the line of scrimmage while in the end zone. UT is called for 10 penalties for 92 yards. On Sunday afternoon Vols Head Coach Phillip Fulmer fires Offensive Line coach Jimmy Ray Stephens and Wide Receiver coach Pat Washington. Should next season bring more of the same, there could be even bigger changes on the Vols coaching staff.


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