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Mike Tyson and Bobby Brown. Wow
11/04/05
by DJ

You know when there is something big on the horizon when your inbox is full when you return from the bathroom. It's like the calm before the storm, lulling you into a false sense of security that everything is all right in the world when in fact every ideal you hold dear is about to be wrested from your quaking grip. This is what I came back to:

"tyson looked so nasty with the blood on his mouth (dracula costume) like he had just been munching on fresh ear..." - The 27

"I don't know if any of you caught that on Sportscenter last night but it was incredible. Tyson had no idea what the words to the song were and was attempting some sort of James Brown test. And Bobby... well, Bobby was just being Bobby." - JT

Although alarmed, I dismissed it a simple e-board banter. Then I read this, a letter from a long time reader. Sheer terror replaced every oxygen globule in my body.

I would beg any and all of you to check out ESPN.com at this moment, particular the Today's Voices section or the ESPNMotion offerings. There is video of Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson on Halloween (Bobby is a pimp, Tyson is a vampire) singing Monster Mash on the Jimmy Kimmel show. It is perhaps one of the most frightening and odd sights you will ever see, but is potentially ripe for commentary. Just a thought.
-Giller

Consciousness slowly infiltrated my being again. I searched for the thing that caused this turbulence in my world. I found it. Watch it here. See what I saw. Share my pain. I looked out of the window for The Four Horsemen... safe... for now. Damn you Jimmy Kimmel, damn you ABC. I say for now because the entertainment world has been reduced to shambles. It is coming. Bobby Brown was dressed as a pimp and dancing like James Brown. I thought I would never say this, but I bet James Brown was ashamed. Mike Tyson was a vampire with fangs and (hopefully) fake blood around his mouth and for some reason coming out of his nose. This was a sad and infuriating display. These men have definitely run out of people that care for them in their lives. Their agents, common sense, and self respect are now officially relics of the past. I didn't think either could sink any lower. After his, semi-not-terrible reality series, he could have quietly faded away. But no. Why Bobby? There is no way in this lifetime or the next he was anything near the vicinity of sober. I refuse to believe that. I would also venture to say that costume had been in his closet for a while. He owns it, which says something for his current tastes. And Iron Mike, after his latest boxing debacle: he somehow sunk lower. When the last thing you notice is his face tat, it is not good. He looked like a black Eddie Munster. And let me add I had no idea what he was saying until I replayed it... twice. As if his voice wasn't already terrifying. Why was there blood dripping out of his nose? Is there some new tuberculosis ridden vampire race out there that has somehow been misrepresented? Somewhere, Jamal Mashburn is rueing the day he ever got that nickname, probably somewhere deep on an NBA bench.

The real "Monster Mash" shows how he got his nickname...Ghastly indeed

Yes, the freaks do come out at night, and if we're lucky they are paired on a national stage in prime time. The only people that came out real winners were ABC. This is because I guarantee you no one turned the channel. They either passed out or kept rubber necking on the couch. I know the Desperate Housewives ratings are down, but that was a low blow ABC. But you got me. My mouth was open. Happy belated Halloween.

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