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The OC: Season 2 Finale
5/24/05
by Tardio

OC Season 2 has now come to its dramatic conclusion. This season was kind of like dating a really hot girl with no personality or intelligence. You start out dating the girl, and you're constantly in awe of how hot she is. Then, after a few weeks, you start taking the hotness for granted. Then, one day, you're out at a bar with the hot, no-personality, dumb girl, and you see a buddy. The buddy gives you complete respect because of your girl's hotness, and all is good again .You've been reminded of why you liked her in the first place - because she's hot - and you once again could care less that she doesn't know the capital of Ohio. Same with OC Season 2. I started out the season stoked, then, in the middle, started to take it for granted. Hell, I even missed the beginning of one episode (to hang out with a hot, dumb girl, coincidentally). Then, in the end, OC came through again, and we're reminded that this is the best show on television.

[Note to Reader: I realize that was the worst, most unfunny analogy ever constructed. I don't care.]

Let's take a look at what happened:

1. Haley and Jimmy returned for Cal's funeral. Phenomenal, time-tested trick of the trade. When it's sweeps week or finale time, shows often have re-appearances of past characters. This is very effective. Here, Haley served absolutely no purpose in the episode but to return to Newport, say 8 words, and look hot. I'm not complaining. I kind of liked it when she showed up squeezed into a t-shirt that would have been small on Paris Hilton's chihuahua. Jimmy's return was a bit more triumphant as he and Julie reunited. This was one of those moments that sheds light on the male/female divide. Caleb's body wasn't even cold yet, the funeral had been over for about 27 seconds, and Jimmy was propositioning Julie to go "take a ride on his boat to Catalina." (Sounds like a bad porn line). Girls across America cringed at Jimmy's nerve, trying to pick up his ex-wife at her billionaire husband's funeral. At the same time, males across the US were smiling, recognizing the genius of his plan. Jimmy - we love you, man.
2. Kirsten got blackout at the funeral. Awesome scene - Kirsten, stumbling around her father's wake, slugging straight from a bottle of Absolut. With her formal dress on, she reminded me of a drunk Theta staggering around a Spring Formal pre-party. Then, Sandy confronts Kirsten about her drinking (for the 37th time in the past four episodes - think they built this up enough?). She is defensive at first, but, then, in a stirring scene, she backs off of her stance that rehab is for quitters, and enters detox. Blah, blah, blah. A sober Kirsten sounds great for next year. If they don't have her relapsing by episode 4 of next season, it's a mistake.
3. The last five minutes of the show were ridiculously great. This is the newest advertising device these shows are using - in the commercial, the tagline will be "Don't miss the last five minutes!!!!" Who in the hell watches a show for 55 minutes then says, "well, doesn't look like anything else is going to happen, I'm turning it off"? Also, it's almost invariably a let-down. You expect someone to leave the show, and it usually happens, but it's almost always a non-main character. The "last five minutes" line would have been warranted if Kirsten got tanked, pulled out an uzi, and mowed down the entire family. That would be something that would be un-missable. However, since Kirsten was already in rehab by minute 55, we had to settle for an awesome fight scene between the Atwood brothers. R. Atwood shows up to settle the score with T. Atwood for raping his girlfriend (great brother...he didn't just hit on his brother's g-friend, he got coked-up and raped her. Solid work, Trey. That will land you in good favor with the bro). R. Atwood and T. Atwood roll around beating the hell out each other, and, just as T. Atwood is about to bash R. Atwood with a phone (did you see that phone? It was rotary, that would have really hurt), Marissa arrives and shoots T. Atwood. T. Atwood made his case for the Emmy in his death scene. It was a 45 second ordeal with twisting and wincing and a groan or two and then, finally, a slump into a pile of glass and blood on the ground. Two thumbs up on the performance.
4. Lastly, must mention the appearance of my favorite character - Floater girl - in this episode. It was pure genius. Floater Girl's part had absolutely nothing to do with the plot of the episode. But, it was great filler when Floater Girl tried to facilitate a drug deal at the Bait Shop with some crazy Hispanic guys from Chino (OC pulling no punches in perpetuating the Hispanic/Chino/drug dealer stereotypes
   - I swear if I'm ever in Chino and I don't get stabbed or propositioned to buy cocaine, I'm going to leave sorely disappointed). Well, the deal goes south, and Floater Girl decides it would be good to shoot these guys. Hey, no one ever said she was smart.

That's it...season's over. Trey's gone. Floater Girl now packs heat to the Bait Shop. Marissa and R. Atwood are back together, as are Julie and Jimmy Cooper. Summer and Seth not together. Zach must have only been signed for 26 episodes this year as he was mysteriously absent from the finale. Cal is six feet under. Kirsten is on step 2 of 12. All in all, not as good as season one, but, then again, who can improve on perfection?