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What the Bush twins thought when the OC was preempted by their father's press conference
5/3/05
by the Staff of Deadlyhippos.com

Tardio cried for the entire Presidential news conference that preempted the OC. At one point, he even hurled a throw pillow from his couch at the television screen. (We are not sure which is more feminine hurling a pillow or actually having a throw pillow). As we mocked him for his anger, it slowly dawned on us that Tardio alone was not the only person angry at George Bush for preempting the OC. Following along this merry thought process, we ultimately hit upon two people who we are absolutely certain were more frustrated than Tardio over the OC not being on...the Bush twins. Below six guys (actually four who bothered to pitch in) have attempted to reconstitute what the Bush twins thought when they saw their father on television instead of Ryan Atwood.

1. What's Daddy doing on Fox?

2. The lighting in the East Room says Chino but Daddy's tan screams OC. (Nod to Tardio's lighting analysis of Chino v. the OC).

3. Our OC drinking game is screwed. We'll have to do ER again.

4. Why does Daddy always spoil our fun? (Followed by pouting sounds)

5. I'd make out with Marissa but not with any of these reporters. (Clay prefers a Barbara/Marissa lip-locking but would not quibble with Jenna/Marissa either. Basically Clay does not have a problem when any girls feel the need to kiss).

6 . Next thing you know he'll nationalize the printing presses just in time to stop our Maxim photo spread.

Jenna and Barbara pretend they are Marissa.

7. I thought Red Bull and Vodka solved the energy crisis!

8. Jenna: "I told you we should have scored with Benjamin McKenzie when we were freshmen in high school." (Amazingly Ben McKenzie attended the same Austin high school as the twins)

Barbara: "We would have been so Kelly Taylor then."

Jenna: "Whatever." [FYI Kelly lost her virginity with a cool senior when she was a freshman in some bushes outside a house party.]

9. I can't believe I voted for this guy.

10. You think I give a damn about some energy policy?! Give me Ryan in a wife-beater, stat!

11. Let's go to the movies.

John McCain attempts to console the twins over the preemption. "If your Daddy hadn't spanked me in the South Carolina primary, the OC would be new tonight."

12. At least he didn't run over into Simple Life.

13. At least Zach's not in this scene.

14. This would be funnier if we had some angel dust.

I bet they get the OC in Iraq...