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The OC: Trey Returns
3/28/05
by Tardio

Sorry about the lack of an OC column last week. My computer is infected with so many viruses that when you turn it on, it coughs. Obviously, by the overwhelming response (zero emails, zero message board postings), the deadlyhippos.com readers were quite disappointed in its absence.

This week I have begun this column before actually watching the episode. I figured it would give the reader(s) of my column the opportunity to capture my thoughts before I have actually seen the episode. So, here's what I'm thinking before going into the viewing:

I heard that Ryan's brother is making a re-appearance this week. This makes me happier than a drunk leprechaun. I believe the last time we saw Ryan's brother was right after the car-stealing at the beginning of season 1 (Ryan, deadpan: "I stole a car." - one of the all-time lines). I'm expecting big things from Ryan's brother. But, I also heard a rumor that Ryan's brother is going to be played by a different actor. Don't you love it when they try to slip that by you? Remember when Will's mom on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air all suddenly was a different actress? They didn't even look alike. Even DJ Jazzy Jeff, who's IQ is about the same as an oak tree, should have picked up on that. They might as well have brought in a white woman to play his mom.

(On the subject of "Fresh Prince," I can't remember for the life of me anything I learned in law school, but I can sing every word to the theme song..."This is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there and I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air..." You know you're singing it right now.)

So, regardless, I'm really looking forward to this episode. Ryan's brother, new actor, Lindsay's gone (but thank God she survived the sharks), and, as always, a couple awkward "Marissa is a lesbian" scenes.

(watched episode)

So, the episode starts with Ryan getting the phone call from his brother, who's in jail, informing him that he's getting out of jail and needs someone to pick him up. Two observations:

1. Ryan's brother is in jail. He committed the crime with Ryan. Yet, somehow, Ryan is stunned that he's getting out of jail at this time. And, Sandy, who was his lawyer, also was floored that Brother is getting out of jail. Can no one in that family count 1 year from the day he went in? Is it that crazy that he's getting out? Did they think he was staying in forever?

2. Let the references to Chino begin. After speaking with Brother, Ryan says, "Trey is getting out of jail. He wants me to pick him up in Chino." Not just "pick him up." It has to be "in Chino." Reference number 2: Thirty seconds after the intro (California, here we come...), Marissa throws out a "Chino" reference. That's two Chino references in less than two minutes. Britney's marriage to the guy from Seinfeld lasted longer than that (same Jason Alexander, right?). Then, when they go to the jail, there's a huge sign the camera pans by that says "CHINO PENITENTIARY." That, my friends, is three direct Chino references in less than five minutes. Brilliant. At this point, I know this episode is bringing it strong.

The rest of the episode was fairly predictable - Brother comes back wearing sleeveless t-shirt, vascillates between rage-filled, chain-smoking felon (see Ryan, season 1, epidsodes 1-9) and loveable poor, trouble kid from Chino (see Ryan, season 1, episodes 9-23). Hopefully he won't turn into a gay, bad-acting, sensitive guy who smiles at awkward times in the scene (see Ryan, season 2, episodes 1-?). Marissa helps with Brother's assimilation into Newport life. Writers still trying to find awkward love triangle between Sandy, Kirsten, and Newport Living editor who only shaves twice/month.

There were a couple notable parts:

Zach has returned from his Italian jaunt. I didn't think it was possible, but Zach has aged even more. To believe that that he's in high school is asinine. This kid graduated high school with the oldest Baldwin brother. I think he's dating Martha Stewart's older sister. This kid could drive when Mary Kate was in diapers. He's got to go.

2. Caleb fakes out the crazy man who's blackmailing Julie with a porn video she did ten years ago. Caleb has agreed to pay this guy (Lance) $500,000 for the tape to preserve the launch of "Newport Living," Julie's new magazine. Well, Caleb got the best of him, giving him the money, but re-taking it with the help of a couple thugs he brings along to Lance's seedy room at the Super 8. That's all fine and good, but what I want to know is when does Caleb not wear a suit? I don't think I've ever seen a scene where Caleb isn't in full suit. I bet this guy takes a crap in a three-piece Hugo Boss. He goes on vacation, gets in the pool wearing a special-edition waterproof Armani.

3. What about the family resemblance between Brother and Ryan. It's uncanny, isn't it? The look nothing alike. Ryan is a short, stocky, and sandy-blond haired. Brother is tall, dark hair, and skinny. They might as well have brought in Mekhi Phifer to play the brother. I heard Ice Cube was available, too.

Last observation- why is it always so dark in Chino? I've discussed this with others before. It's great - in Newport, everything is pastels, well-lit. Once you cross over into Chino, the mood darkens, the music gets low and slow, everything is dark. In the pool hall where they find Brother, I don't think there was a light on. Brilliant cinematography.

All in all, a fair episode. I give it a 7 out of 10. Could have been higher had Marissa's lesbian pseudo-girlfriend with the tats shown up and thrown a beer can at Ryan and stuck her tongue in Marissa's ear.