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Sibling Rivalry/Q&A
3/04/05
by DJ

Last week my brother, David, was on Episode 24 of MTV's The Real World Philadelphia, as his best friend MJ (Inititals are big in Nashville) is on the show. They got drunk, went out to bars, devoured whole cans of Skoal chew, and then caused MJ to break up with his girl. Whoopdeedoo. This came at the peak of my fame, approximately the same time I was fated to hang out with Colin Farrell. My younger brother is always doing me one better, I grew to 6'7" and he just had to go and grow to 7'0". I played at Colorado University and then he comes and steals my thunder there as well. I play basketball overseas, making a good living I might add, and then he just had to get drafted in the 1st round by the Indiana Pacers and become a millionaire. I have NBA friends too!!! (besides him) Quite a sibling rivalry developing indeed. From the start, we were like the Egyptian gods, Romulus and Remus, two titans destined for glory. Although brothers and equally yoked, Romulus constantly upstaged Remus, driving him to lament the air he breathed, and eventually losing out to his brother as the Sun god. I will not lose what was given to me as the first born in the Harrison clan. This game of one-up-manship will not be lost by this hippo, not in a million years....

Follow up to my Colin Article....Q and A
The following are actual questions from my hippo bretheren about that night....

Were your child actor days referenced?

No, as rumour has it in Colin Farrell's fledgling acting career he was exploited in several gay mens magazines. I was not (to my knowledge). I didn't want to rub it in.....

At any time were you inclined to mention the pudding strike?

I thought about it, but then realized the last thing on my mind should be a man with man boobs in the Virgin Islands when there were hot girls with hot girl boobs in very close proximity....

Did you consider how lame it would be to tell him to check out your website?

See above Q and A...

Did you pretend you were a lot more familiar with Colin Farrell's movies than you actually were?

I thought of all the movies he was in and realized I didn't particularly like any of them. I did not reference any because that would be like meeting an NBA star or something and reciting their stats. C'mon guys act like you've been there!!! Besides there were enough people riding his jock (literally) at that particular moment...

At any point did he drop the name of a famous person into conversation as if you would know that person as well?

No, he did not think I was "in his circle" I assume, although were both cast in movies... with speaking roles. But he did name some guys and teams from my league that I, of course, knew and asked to come to a game and if we are ever "out lozin' " (Slang for hanging out) again it'd be cool to hang out as he loves basketball and uses it to get into shape.

Could you have gotten laid?

Assuming no one tossed garlic or bright light in the direction of the table (Vampire reference redux) Beyond a shadow of a doubt....beyond a shadow of a doubt...