previous column	next column

England FAQ and Ramblings
3/17/05
by DJ

Cheerio lads from across the Atlantic. These are more questions put to me by readers and the hippoboard....

Things that you do in England that I wonder about, do all the American players always eat fast food?

Yes they do. Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Burger King, McDonalds, and suprisingly Friday's rule here. Wendy' s is noticeably absent, as she was my first love in high school. I have seen only one in London Heathrow Airport. Although I do fall victim to some fast food chains, I do eat traditional English food all the time, due to the fact I am a man of the world, a cultured being..

Do people come up to you and ask you weird questions?

Its not so much the wierd questions, it's how they ask them. Since I am tall people come up and ask, "How high are you?". I find this hilarious because about 6 years ago the answer would have been "Very". But now its 6'7"....
Have you found yourself sometimes speaking in a British accent? No but I do say slang words like innit(short for isn't it), and dodgy (waiting for laughter to cease...please). And also instead of saying 3, they say "free" like the whole country has a lisp. At first it was endearing but now it is annoying....

Do english native basketball players have better or worse teeth than other Britons?

This is funny because they even ADMIT to having bad teeth. I have been drunk and laughed at them and they laughed with me about it. Old people just give up and let them ride around 45 or 50 and the smoking and boozing doesn't help them.......They think I have great teeth and have had braces, which I have haven't, but there is at least one member of the hippo board who can attest to my high school gap...and its consequences on my social behavior...

Who is a better basketball player Prince William or Prince Harry?

Its a stalemate...they both play rugby and the two sports dont mix so they automatically suck at basketball...Imagine Rocky Boiman trying to lift his arms above his head....Just things like that which allow you to tie Britain into basketball.

Do Prince Harry or Prince William, or for that matter any of the Royal Family know who I am?

Probably not. As previously stated, rugby and basketball are two totally different sports out here. They are are as different as peaches aand potatoes. Its like darts and cross country skiing. The two worlds coexist peacefully orbiting one another and do pass each other occasionally, and the two species know the other exist, but other than that these two alien worlds are left totally separate. The Royal Family does know that my league is here, but wouldnt know any players probably.