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Famous for their Skankness
6/17/05
by JT

The other day my buddy Trennis pointed out an interesting fact to me that got me thinking. There was a time in the not so distant past when talent was needed to become famous in the world. It may have been athletic talent, acting talent, singing or intellectual abilities, but some type of great god given gift was needed to separate yourself from the rest. However, there is a new group of talentless individuals who are whoring themselves into popularity and millions of dollars. These ladies (I use that term loosely) have received their fame, money or both by being promiscuous individuals, also known as "sluts" or "skanks". Trennis's point hit me hard. I wondered, who are these strumpets and why have they gained popularity. We will start by examining some such women:

Paris Hilton:

Has anyone in history ever benefited more from being a trollop? This woman has no discernable talents whatsoever yet she has found her way onto TV shows, movies, and even (God help her) has made her own CD. So how did she go from someone who was the daughter of a billionaire and an occasional partially nude model in men's magazines to her current status? It's simple, she made a sex tape which found its way to the internet¹. Since then her sex DVD "A Night In Paris" had become #1 selling porno in the nation, and she has achieved fame and even more fortune as a result. See her utilize her trampish fame to help sell hamburgers here. Daddy Hilton must be so proud.

Pamela Anderson:

In perhaps the greatest investment a person has ever made in their own future, circa 1993 Pam Anderson receives her first set of breast implants. This lands her the job of "slow motion running girl with bouncing boobs" on the worldwide phenomenon Baywatch and also gets her the attention of Motley Crew drummer Tommy Lee. The two get married shortly thereafter and immediately create their own sex video during their honeymoon. After being stolen and leaked on the internet this video ends up one of the highest selling porno's of all time, and turns Pam into an internationally renowned slut. Since then, as her looks have faded, she has gone to bigger breast implants and landed a new TV show. The power of breasts compels you!

Jennifer Lopez:

What do you do if you are a pale skinned, chubby Puerto Rican from the Bronx who dreams of making it big, but you claim no real talents? Get a drastic makeover (including a tremendous ass), divorce your husband, and shack up with Hip Hop's biggest mogul: Puff Daddy aka P-Diddy. Use his business savvy and vast marketing and promotion budgets and have him develop you into a movie star and platinum singer (despite the fact that you can't sing or act). When his troublesome gangsta lifestyle starts to hurt your image get rid of him and marry someone low key, like one of your backup dancers. When this starts to hurt your career divorce him and seduce and become engaged to one of the biggest named actors alive. Repeat using sex to further yourself until dead.

Lil' Kim:

Imagine that A.) You can't rap B.) You are not attractive C.) You want to be a rapper and a national sex symbol. What would you do? If you are Lil' Kim you decide to use sex to make it all happen. To get an idea of her sluttiness one need only to listen to her first track on her first ever CD. It is a skit of a man going to a XXX movie theater and pleasing himself to a porn flick starring Lil' Kim. Kim used this kind of skankness in her lyrics to sell as many records as possible. Common themes in her lyrics include; she is better at giving oral sex than all other women, her vaginal area is tighter and wetter than all other women, she is better sexing people than all other women, and so on and so forth. It warrants mentioning that she received her opportunity in the rap game by becoming the Notorious B.I.G's mistress (aka slut on the side). She then used said slut powers to make Biggie write her entire first CD for her. When accused of being chubby she had B.I.G. pay for oodles of plastic surgery (she hasn't hit the brakes on this activity yet) and even presented an award at the MTV Music Awards half topless. Now that’s a skank who keeps it real!

Tara Reid:

While she got her start as an attractive but talentless actor, Tara's fame didn't really take off until rumors started swirling of her constant drunken debauchery around Hollywood and New York. By all accounts there are only about 13 famous men left in America of whom she does not have carnal knowledge. She started to fall out of the public eye for a couple of years so she turned the partying up a notch, got new humongous breast implants and was back in front of the cameras. This is a girl who is so used to being naked that she was clueless for minutes that one of her breasts had fallen out while posing for pictures in front of hundreds of photographers on the way into a P-Diddy Party..... wow.

The real quandary in this situation is this; How can someone become famous just for being slutty? What is it about these harlots that makes us want to see them more and more? I spent a few days pondering these questions, and the solution I came up with is twofold.

1.) The element of surprise. We never know what kind of tramp-like behavior these scarlet women will unveil next. Will we see a sex tape with Paris, Nicole Richie and some hillbilly from their show "The Simple Life"? Will she walk around naked during the show? How soon until Lil' Kim starts stripping? When will we see a Tara Reid sex tape because you know there are dozens out there? This kind of curiosity keeps these women constantly in the public eye.

2.) Men are virile sex-crazed creatures who truly believe that everyone wants to have sex constantly. This is especially true when it comes to loose women. For example, men believe that if they watch the show "Stacked" with Pamela Anderson long enough not only will her enormous chest fruits pop free at some point, but that she will want them too. We as men also feel that we have the ability to sleep with any woman in the world if we just have a chance. This is doubly true when looking at the slut demographic. We believe that if we ever met someone like Paris or Pam, not only could we easily bed them, but that they would want us to do it, and they would want us to do it in some sort of dirty fashion. Fundamentally this is what drives the public into becoming infatuated with skanks and inevitably what keeps them famous.

Just so you know, I have nothing against slutty girls and if I ever met Lil' Kim she would totally want me.

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[1] Making a sex tape doesn't necessarily make you a slut, so women should not shy away from making these at anytime. However, making a second video with an ex-porn star (Simon Rex) and a Playboy Playmate that is also leaked on the internet does make you a skank.

Side note - Men are not exempt from this phenomenon (see Justin Federline-Spears, Fabio, etc) but are not as plentiful.

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