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Shaw's First Ever Reader Response
6/16/05
by Shaw
I have never posted a reader response before, but I felt that my latest series of hate mail messages for my review of The Longest Yard warranted one. Unfortunately I already responded to all of them on the message board, and it would be in poor taste to disappoint our regular reader(s) with repeat information. Thus, what I’ll do instead is to pretend that all of the people who posted their personal opinions of this movie on IMDB are, in fact, regular readers of this site.
Here is the first comment from IMDB:
OK, well whoever said that this movie isn't good, is extremely stupid. (Sorry but i definitely love this movie). This movie is my new favorite movie of all time, not even kidding. […] Well i am going to say that many adults might not like this movie, it is more targeted to teens (boys and girls), the girls will love it because they can't help but fall in love with the characters. I mean you get to see them with their shirts off A lot, and it's pretty awesome. […] Adam Sandler's character was hilarious, I thought he was so cute, and he is definitely my favorite comedian. Chris Rock in this movie is adorable, and he is one of my other favorite comedians. All of the football players were so funny, and i couldn't help but love ALL of them. This movie was awesome! I recommend it to anyone who is looking for a hilarious, fun, and even sad movie. It's great!
pinkflamingo1102 from Nixa, Missouri
Do you notice that the first thing that anyone who likes this movie says is some kind of insult toward people that don’t like it? (Even though it’s true) my review never said “if you like this movie, you’re an idiot.” In the actual reader responses to the column I was told that, because I don’t like the movie:
I won’t say that 1, 2, and 5 are inaccurate (and if you ask my girlfriend, she would say that 4 is probably true too), but I can’t see how anyone would have known that just by reading my column. In pinkflamingo1102’s IMDB post the same phenomenon occurs. Anyone that doesn’t like the movie is “extremely stupid.” But the real meat of the post is in the reasons she gives for loving the movie: everyone’s adorable. I took the liberty of investigating pinkflamingo1102’s other posts on IMDB and discovered some insight into what makes her tick.
Why did she like Hitch?
“In this movie Will Smith is so adorable, and totally hot.”
Why did she like Coach Carter?
“First, All of the guys were fine!!!!, and they had their shirts off for a lot of the movie, so of course i enjoyed it.”
Why did she like Harry Potter and the Wizard of Azkaban?
“In this movie everyone is getting better and better looking I was like OMG all the guys are hot! (the twins are hot, Harry is so hot, Ron got hot, Draco is super sexy etc.) Harry's voice has deepened and he has gotten taller and i have to admit I've formed a little crush on Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton, along with many of the other characters. To all you guys out there Hermione (Emma Watson) has gotten very pretty.”
Why did she dislike Dawn of the Dead?
“The dead people were blue. So it was very hard for me to take this movie seriously with blue people running around (much like smirfs). I am not trying to discourage you from seeing this movie. It is supposed to be an excellent film.So if you are into old boring movies with very off coloring of dead people than go ahead and watch it.”
I actually can’t write anything about this right now because I’m laughing so hard.
Further searching IMDB for comments, I found lots of similarly funny ones, but they all said the same thing. One person who loved this movie also loved Cinderella Man because, "I thought this movie was going to be one of those typical movies that won a lot of Oscars,boring and sad strangely though it wasn't. The movie was actually pretty good, and very suspenseful. Unlike Howard Hughes or Ray Jimmy J. Braddock was actually a good person to base a movie on."
For whatever reason, it was at this point that reading all of these 12 year old girls' entries started to feel wrong and strangely pornographic, so I had to stop. I was about to shut off my computer and go club some baby seals when I noticed the headline for another IMDB review, which, I believe, actually gets the job done: The Longest Turd. Maybe this could have been written by pinkflamingo1102's classmate, but I still give him credit for saving the lives of some innocent seal pups.
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