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Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or The Matrix for Married People
6/29/05
by Clay

They should have just called this movie The Matrix For Married People. The plot can be summarized in exactly one sentence: Husband and wife are both assassins but neither knows what the other does for a living until they are assigned to kill each other. I think Chris Rock may deserve royalties for this initial idea when with his typical Rockian understatement he suggested that if you haven't ever seriously thought about killing someone, you haven't been in love. Alas he remained uncredited and instead was affiliated with The Longest Yard which ultimately led to some of our readers critizing Shaw's genitalia after he slammed that movie. (Click here for a reminder)

So the plot is simple. But in summer blockbusters such as these the question isn't whether or not the plot is simple, makes sense or the storyline connects, the question is do they rise above themselves? In other words, did someone with half a brain end up using that half a brain in producing this film? The answer with Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a resounding yes. While the number of lines of dialogue in this film are few, they are remarkably astute and well-utilized. Generally underplaying anything in a Hollywood blockbuster is the kiss of death, remarkably this film about married assassins that cost god knows how much money in special effects dollars and explosions succeeds because of it's lack of excess rather than because of its overabundance. Far and away the best scenes in the film succeed because of the undergirding strength of the film's ultimate metaphor, marriage.

Now that I've used both the words undergird and metaphor in the same sentence, let's be honest about the real draw for this film for men, Angelina Jolie has never been more attractive and few movies have ever had a more sensually overwhelming lead actress. After much thought, Angelina Jolie can do exactly two things that normal people do that would not be sexy:

1. I give up,
2. there is nothing to write here.

I'm convinced that a movie where Angelina Jolie shaves her armpits and tweezes her eyebrows could make $50 million dollars. If network television is so hardup for programming that we can have "Dancing With The Stars" (currently airing on ABC this summer), then some executive somewhere should purchase the rights to just film Angelina Jolie doing whatever Angelina Jolie does all day. I promise you this, every man in America who wasn't worried about pissing off his wife or girlfriend would watch the first episode. Because everything she does is effortlessly sexy. Women probably feel the same way about her costar Brad Pitt, but they definitely feel the same way about Angelina Jolie. How powerful is Angelina Jolie's sexual chemistry to other women? She might be the only hot white woman in America that black women don't hate. Usually black women vocally cheer everytime a white woman gets killed in a movie: In Mr. and Mrs. Smith the crowd was actually encouraging her. There were robust cries of "You go girl" and "Umm hmm, she keepin' it real." Plus other positive encouragements that I could not understand.

Ms. Jolie, looking good.	Is this the future... or the past?

Now that this review has swung wildly out of control, let me point out what I consider to be the most intriguing aspect of this movie, the degree to which in twenty-five years it is going to be considered an absolute encapsulation of devalued and uncertain masculinity in a globalized world and that impact upon gender roles.

1. Angelina Jolie is better than Brad Pitt's character at everything yet she feels compelled to hide her success. He truly has no baliwick or province to call his own. This is funny now, but how long will this be funny? Brad Pitt's rueful smirks and winsome grins don't hide the fact that his character's place in the modern world is totally extinct.

2. Jolie's character on two occasions refers to Pitt as both a "bitch" and a "pussy." Women have now reclaimed formerly derogatory language and foist it upon men as putdowns. This represents empowerment for women, yet what exactly, does it represent for men?

3. How much of a divide is there now between American women and women in the world? In Saudi Arabia women cannot drive cars, conversely in America they now garner the majority of college degrees and outnumber men in professional schools such as law and medicine. In this movie they kill people with equal aplomb. How long until a Hollywood fantasy about the female Hitler? Finally, has there ever been a more drastic disparity in women's rights prevalent in the world than exists today?

Now that I've burdened the spartan readership of this column with a far too in-depth review of a movie not necessarily marketed as such, definitely go see this movie and let me know what you think. The writers (I'm sure there was more than one) had the opportunity to produce a movie consisting of only grand explosions, riveting action sequences, and spectacular deaths. They have definitely produced all of this, but the more striking element of this film is what passes for spartan delicacy in Hollywood, a movie where gender has no role.

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