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DJ's Gmail Response
6/22/05
by DJ

While addressing an earlier link about Urkel saying that Manu Ginobli looks like Balki from "Perfect Strangers", Will Anderson who is from Chicago and resides in Indianapolis, hit us up via gmail iterating the following:

Perfect Stranger's... The premise of the show boggles my mind to this day. Balki moves to Chicago and hunts down a long lost cousin (Coo - saan, as only Balki could say it) Larry Appleton. Having forced himself into Larry's home, Balki then piggybacks his way into a job working for the same newspaper his cousin toils for. He accomplishes this with no college education, hell, it's debatable if he ever had any schooling, or if he can even read. Furthermore, as the show progressed these cousins manage to land two of the hottest blonde chicks that two 30 something balding guys could ever score. On top of that they move into a wonderfully maintained Victorian home in the northern suburbs of Chitown. Home's like that are way over 1 million! No matter how dilapadated they may be! How the hell did spineless Larry Appleton manage to pull this off? How lucky was that mush head Balki? Who the hell thought of this show?

Will

It seems Balki was the Fez (from "That 70's Show") of his era spliced delicately with Mork from "Mork and Mindy". No one knew exactly where he came from, and he fit every foreigner's (not to be confused with the band) stereotype that the good ol' U.S. of A has to offer for its alien TV stars. He is hairy, affable, can't speak well, but somehow teaches us a good lesson of heartfelt something-or-another by the end of an episode. Awwww. But to answer Will's queries: Did Balki have any schooling? Hell no. As a matter of fact the only legal documentation he ever presented was a green card, which was about to perilously expire in one heart rendering episode in which he was about to lose everything and be ousted from said Coo-saan Larry's Chicago roost. Which brings us to out next question, one which I pondered over several times while watching the series, how did they afford that home? From TV, especially TGIF during that era, we know that the Winslows in "Family Matters" lived really well in the same city, and even crossed paths with CL and Balki one episode. I was happy they could afford that house on a cop's salary, and could even afford the multitude of unexpected house repairs caused by Steve Urkel's antics from week to week (and support a grandmother and a sister-in-law with a kid). Now that I think about it, it's damn right impossible. So how did a newspaper beat writer and a mail room errand boy afford their plush Chicago pad? There is only one solution. CL and Balki pimped out their girlfriends. They never had jobs if I can remember correctly, or a house for that matter, and their make-up, frenetic blonde hair, and slaggish (thank you England) attire bellowed promiscuity from its highest rafters. The girls weren't the smartest of chicks of all time to begin with, and seeing as how they were hot (for their time I guess) and they could only pull some dude fresh off the boat and his roommate with dubious sexual intentions at best who donned a Napoleon Dynamite coif waaayy before its time tells me they were desperate. Their hoing put a roof over their guys heads. Now that's love.....

So thank you young Wilton for your correspondence. Voraciously avid readers of the site will note that this is his second column posting, the fruits of his labors from using our gmail system. Don't you want to be just like Will and voice your opinion? I think you do. Drop us a line at deadlyhippos@gmail.com or use our message board. For anything and all "Perfect Stranger" related, click HERE.

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