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Trying to watch Beauty and the Geek: a study in failure
6/6/05
by JT

With the season 2 finale of the OC in the books (leaving the Deadly Hippos staff with an enormous void in our exciting and decadent lives) we mustered together our formidable brain power in a virtual e-thinktank to come up with a new show to fill that void. Mind you, we are not looking to replace the OC, we are simply looking for someone to keep us company on those lonely nights while they are away. After hours of deliberation we discovered and decided on a new show on the WB called Beauty and The Geek. (also known as Mrs. Clay and Clay). For those of you not familiar with the show, the concept pits 7 mentally inferior yet supremely attractive women with 7 men whom can with equal ease solve the most difficult of math theorems, and turn off the opposite sex. The concept is fantastic. The female contestants had the following job titles listed by their names - "Lingerie Model", "NBA Dancer", "Sorority Girl", "Beer Spokesmodel", and "Aspiring Fashion Expert" to name a few. The men are even better with the titles "Asst. Boy Scout Master", "Vice President of Duke's Of Hazzard Fan Club", "Has Never Kissed a Girl", and "Has Never Been on a Date". I'm not making this up. Needless to say we were incredibly enthusiastic about the potential of this, and it was debuting on the WB that night! The following verbiage took place between the staff that day:

"I will definitely be watching this. Screw studying for the bar." - Clay

"Chances of me watching this show? 259%" - Tardio

"I'm pulling for Richard who 'has never kissed a girl' to hook up with Lauren the lingerie model. This could be the first premature ejaculation ever caught on reality tv." - JT

So what happened you ask? Did the show live up to all the buildup and ballyhoo steeped upon it by the Deadly Hippo staff?

"I was watching the Suns v. Spurs and by the time I realized I missed it.... it was too late. I then cursed myself for being the last person I know without Tivo." - JT

"I don't really want to talk about missing the above show last night very much because I am still angry. Somehow despite having approximately 500 satellite channels, the WB is not one of them. This means that the orphans in Sudan and I were the only people in the world who couldn't watch this show last night." - Clay

"On subject of Beauty and the Geek, i missed it too because I couldn't for the life of me figure out what channel WB is. I watched UPN for like 2 hours last night before I realized they weren't the same thing. But, I think it comes on tonight again." - Tardio

You may ask yourself, how can 3 highly educated grown men all fail at the simple task of watching a TV show? The answer is simple, too much alcohol over the years has severely hampered our short-term memory. That and the fact that no one has even considered watching a show on the WB for at least 5 years. Or in the case of Clay, an inferior satellite system. Luckily, they were replaying the show the next night. We vowed not to fail again.

(Look for our analysis of the show tomorrow.)

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