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Beauty and The Geek: Episode 4
7/01/05
by Tardio

This past BATG, once again, did not disappoint. I went into this show expecting it to be funny and entertaining as an absolute joke (think The Littlest Groom, where FOX appropriately shrank the run of the show to like two episodes because it got negative ratings) but have found it funny and entertaining as an actually solid show (think Temptation Island – solid show with just enough ridiculous moments to make you remember you're watching FOX). You'd think UPN wouldn't be able to produce a respectable show on its community-access budget, but I think they've outdone themselves.

First, here's a breakdown of the episode's "competitions": The hot girls had to buy a bunch of clothes for the guys and add up the prices. The geeks had to wear their new clothes and try to get girls' phone numbers. Also, the guys had to go on dates, but I'm not sure how that fit into the whole competition thing. Wonder how long it took those UPN rocket scientists to come up with that setup?

Here's what I took from the past episode:

1. The Richard-Chuck rivalry continues. You'll remember Richard is the King Dork – more annoying than a blister. Chuck hates him. Richard has threatened physical violence, which would be like watching two armless 80-year-olds fight. After Richard later is sent to the elimination round, he says "I go down with honor." Chuck (and, remember, he's supposedly one of the smoother geeks) replies with the line "No, Rich, you go down with ridicule." The funniest part was after Chuck threw that line back at Richard, he acted like Ryan Atwood after uttering "I stole a car." C'mon Chuck, for once in your life, say something cool, not something that sounds like it came out of a high school play. (However, in the previews for next week, there is a clip of Chuck dropping the f-bomb on Richie. Now we're talking.)

2. After Richard completely bombs his date with Lauren (it featured a wine spill and a denied makeout), Lauren offers her assessment of the date – "It went from an 8 to a 4 to a 3 to a 0 to a negative-6." I defy the math department at MIT to decipher that numerical pattern.

3. Lastly, I want to comment on the clothing choices of two people –our favorite geek Chuck and the host of the show (who will go unnamed because I don't know his name). Chuck decided to go mid-bicep with his shirt sleeves again. Now, we're talking dress shirts with the sleeves hiked up mid-bicep. He looked like Olivia Newton-John in the video to "Physical." He even went mid-bicep in a maroon turtleneck. I'm no GQ subscriber, but I can tell a fashion faux pas when I see one, and that was a major one. The only way it would have been worse is if he'd paired it with jean shorts. Stonewashed. And tight. Host has ripped out some questionable clothing choices, also. In this episode, he decided to start out with a shirt that looked like a barber-shop pole. If he spun around really fast in it, I swear I would have either vomited or immediately been catapulted into the future. Then, in the next scene, he goes with the bowling shirt. With a zipper. A zipper. I would say anyone who has zippers on their shirts also probably wears Axe body spray. And, my friends, that's just not good.

So, I'm a little late with the account of last week's show. Sorry. This is a great show. In fact, I sometimes get a little touched when the hot girls show a little emotion when talking about caring for the guys. I might even shed a tear this week. Especially if Chuckie beats Richie's ass.

For this weekend, if you haven't caught up on all this season's BATG action, check your local listings. UPN will be airing a 4 episode "BATG marathon."

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