I'd Hit It

by Clay
deadlyhippos.com

In an effort to become hipper and hipper for fatter and fatter people, McDonald's has a new advertising slogan, "I'd hit it."
 
Which as any male in his twenties quickly recognizes has attained universal credence as a shorthanded way to state that you'd have sex with a woman.
 
I came upon this advertisement while scanning the insider page (thanks to high-rolling insider 27) of espn.com's website to see what George Washington's daily RPI is. (Currently 74 although there will be more on this in future columns). Out of the corner of my eye, I see "I'd hit it," flash across the screen.  For a moment I thought maybe this was an ad for a porn site featuring the net's newest vixen, Ashley Spears, who has recently been inundating my email inbox with her provocative come-ons. Then I saw the continuing flash magic of the site's graphics and was greeted with a male face staring at a hamburger. I'm not sure if this makes McDonald's advertisting extremely progressive (women are not pieces of meat, pieces of meat are pieces of meat) or extremely chauvanistic (women like hamburgers are pieces of meat); what I am sure of is this, the people at McDonald's are idiots.
 
In fact such idiots that I predict, "I'd hit it," is sure to become the shortest lived advertising campaign in fast food history.  In assessing how in the world McDonald's made such an error the only two things I can think of are these: 1. Ashton Kutcher is now head of McDonald's advertising or 2. McDonald's test-marketed the phrase "I'd hit it" on young males and it scored off the charts in popularity. Which makes sense. What doesn't makes sense is McDonald's not employing someone to tell them why.
 
My prediction, "I'd hit it" will last less than two weeks before McDonald's is forced to pull the spots in reaction to a public relations mess. Today is February 6th, let the hammering of McDonald's begin.