Musical Group Names

Cherry Poppin Daddies. Sixpence None the Richer (don't pretend you haven't heard their hit "Kiss Me." Clay and mine's high school buddy Doug Morgan made the mistake of having this one on a CD single).There are others and I can go on (really I can't but Clay gave me a deadline). Why do groups continually name themselves ridiculous names? (And yes I am aware of the absurdity of questioning this while writing for a site called deadlyhippos). There are several ways that a band should name themselves. Ridiculous names such as Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Hootie and the Blowfish are acceptable due to the fact they have no thought process involved for the creator or we the people. A name so absurd it's actually cool. Then there is the category for one word named groups such that no one can argue their coolness: simplicity at its best. These are groups such as Blur, Oasis, Incubus, and Metallica. Excluded are groups like REM, SWV, and DMX because they are abbreviated and always make me think of
personal ads. Then there are the ones that leave you baffled, the ones that us here at deadlyhippos.com find, well, quite annoying.

After much debate, Destiny's Child is the most annoying because it supercedes all categories. A group with a name much deeper than their songs is never a good sign. Their success cannot be challenged, as they have sold millions of copies, but their name is an enigma, full of riddles and innuendos, its meaning wallowing in a dark abyss of doubt. Firstly, who is Destiny? Did she birth the group, because if so it would be Destiny's Children, due to the multiple offspring. But at one point there were three, then four, then three. What happened to the other child? Is she the chosen one, cast away as Destiny's favorite, locked in a bell tower forced to wear an iron mask, and if so where? Or is it destiny's child (lower case 'd' meaning the noun), which makes absolutely zero sense because what does a child of destiny mean really? If your destiny is to be destined, that's just stupid. And once again there are multiple offspring. Or an even further stretch, is it their destiny to be a child or childlike for the rest of their lives? Do they live in Never Never Land? (And if so is Beyonce legal) Simply put, this name has no answer, there is no end to this equation. How many ways could math genius Shaw prove that Destiny's Child makes no sense?