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The OC Update (Last week to now)
4/27/05
by Tardio

So, here's what happened last week:

1. Carter went all the way and came out with the full-beard. He'd beentoying with it for several weeks, even had a heavy 8 or 9 o'clockshadow two episodes ago, but this week he exploded onto the scene with the big daddy 100% beard. Good for you – I mean haven't we all started a new job at a huge company and then immediately not shaved for three weeks?

2. Kirsten and Beard go to Sonoma for a wine tasting as "research" fora story for Newport Living, Julie's magazine. Sandy, who is so encompassed with playing Hardy Boy (we'll get to that later), he not only allows Kirsten to go to a wine-tasting with an attractive, bearded, single man, he encourages it. This coming on the heels of Sandy's no-sex affair with Rebecca. Hey Sandy – your wife thinks you cheated on her and she wants to go to get drunk with an attractive, bearded, single man…what do you do? Sure, go ahead. That's like handing your 15-year-old son to Michael Jackson – still the King of Pop's fault for fondling him, but you didn't exhibit this century's best judgment either. Anyway, after Beard and Kirsten get too drunk to drive home, get a room together, and Beard takes a shower, Kirsten decides to remain faithful. Sure.

3. Ryan, Marissa, and Seth set up an elaborate sting operation to uncover who actually provided the ecstasy to the girl who ended up floating in the pool at Marissa's party. The first step in this genius plan (and, by "genius," I mean ridiculously stupid) is for Marissa to ask Floater Girl to hook her up with some ecstasy. This prompts one of the more memorable exchanges of the season thus far (which is paraphrased because my memory is shot by jager bombs):

Floater: Yeah, heard about your little night in TJ last year.

Marissa: Not my finest moment. My parents were all over me about that one. I really don't know anyone anymore. Could you help me score?

Floater: A chance to party with the legendary Marissa Cooper? You're going to Death Cab tomorrow night?

Marissa: Sure.

[I'd like to take this opportunity to point out the fact that Floatergirl is absolutely blazing hot. Just thought that needed to be thrown in.]

So, the legendary Marissa Cooper, Ryan, and Summer descend on the Bait Shop for Operation "Free Trey." It's here they learn that the actual ecstasy dealer is Kyle Thompson, a water polo player. [This reminds me that this weekend when I was out of town, I used "Kyle Thompson" as my bar name. Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Rachel. Hi, I'm Kyle Thompson. Always with first and last name. Priceless.] Operation "Free Trey" hits a snag at the Bait Shop when Kyle Thompson and his friend (who, in this whole episode, spoke no words but had 2-3 important head nods) walked out the door and did a David Blaine disappearance job into thin air. Ryan and Seth are three feet behind them, next thing you know, Thompson and Head Nodder have vanished. So, Operation "Free Trey" goes into Night Two, this time at the water polo party. Marissa goes undercover and gets Thompson to sell her some "candy," and, right as Thompson starts to put the full-court press on Marissa to try to get his own "candy," Atwood rolls up and saves the day. Fifteen seconds, two punches, and a door slam later, Thompson is on his way to jail and Trey is exonerated.

4. In typical OC fashion, the episode ends with a bang (literally). Trey, who in this scene does a dead-on Dylan McKay, is confronted by Floater girl in his apartment. Floater has apparently broken in to seduce Trey. Well, needless to say, she succeeds (again, she's hot, and she's got shorts on in this scene that would better fit Barbie) and the episode is over.

All in all, a high quality episode. We got rid of Kyle Thompson. Floater is still going strong. Unfortunately, Marissa and Ryan can never go to school again since they went undercover and busted the most popular kid in school, and, in the process, broke up the biggest party of the year. Now, I'm just waiting to see if by next week Beard has a ZZ-Top 100% 18-inch long goatee.