I love classic sports TV. I really do. I love watching old pro
games to see my favorite players when I was a kid in action. Personally,
nothing tops the MNF game between the Broncos and Chiefs, when Steve
Atwater was mic'd for the game and he knocked "The Nigerian
Nightmare" Christian Okoye out of his cleats, and destroyed
the Nightmare's career, and manhood, in the process. (A career that
was later restored by Clay... and the reality show "Pirate
Master"... at least you'll always have Tecmo, Nightmare) My
real favorites though, are the old college games. I love seeing
current Pro stars in their younger years, when they were just fresh-faced
college hooligans trying to figure out who they were..... getting
wasted and banging co-eds. Even more fun than that is seeing random
former college players that make you smile to yourself and say,
"Holy shit! I remember that dude... what the fuck ever happened
to him?" (That's the category that DJ and I fit into, so I
guess that's why I like it so much.) So with that in mind I set
my DVR to record CSTV's showing of a 1990 game between Loyala Marymount
and LSU.... and set myself up for quite a shock. The game itself
was incredible. LSU featured a spry, skinny, 17 year old freshman
wearing yellow kneepads named Shaquille O'Neal, who was a mere 7'1"
tall and 285 lbs. Of course, we all know who Shaq is now.... a multi-platinum
rapper. They also had another 7 footer named Stanley Roberts, who
was later kicked out of the NBA for drug violations, and a fresh-faced
sophomore point guard named Chris Jackson, who would later become
Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, and then even later not stand for the National
Anthem. (By the way, everyone who was all over Kevin Durant's ballsack
last season, and are salivating on the collective cock of this year's
freshman class, remember that when Chris Jackson was a freshman
at LSU he averaged 30.2 ppg, and yelled SHIT DAMN COCK BALL! in
more huddles than any freshman in history.)
On the Loyola Marymount side of the ball, they featured Bo Kimble
(who led the nation in scoring that season, and would later go on
to star in the movie Heaven is a Playground), and Hank Gathers (who
led the nation in both scoring and rebounding in '89). The game
itself was amazing. The final score was 148-141 LSU. Gathers had
50 points and 12 rebounds despite the fact that he was 6'6"
tall and going against two 7 footers. Shaq had a triple double with
20 points, 20 rebounds, and 12 blocks. Kimble and Mahmoud Jackson
both had more than 30, and there was a very creepy moment when one
of the announcers mentioned that Gathers was playing better the
last two games because he had cut back on his heart medication (he
died later that season when his heart exploded in the middle of
a game).
But.... even with all of these great things, none of them were
the reason that I enjoyed this game so much. The reason can be summed
up in three simple words: William "Billy" Baldwin. Yep,
the host of CSTV's Retrovision is none other than Billy Baldwin.
And how fitting is that? When I first saw him my immediate reaction
was, "Holy shit! I remember that dude... what the fuck ever
happened to him? Well, according to his IMDB page... not much. Actually,
according to the CSTV page not much either. Here is their fall announcement:
CSTV Retrovision
Host Billy Baldwin, a member of the acting Baldwin family, has
appeared in movies such as Backdraft with Kurt Russell
and Sliver with Sharon Stone.
That is honestly the best options they had. Backdraft, filmed in
1991, and Sliver, filmed in 1993. He did also have that 1995 movie
movie Fair Game, where he nailed Cindy Crawford... so he's got that
going for him.
But since that time... not a whole lot of work for Billy. I was
shocked! And he was placing every single one of his acting chops
to the test as he talked about the game. He showed off a jovial
nature when talking about a young Shaq, he displayed gravity and
resolve when discussing the difficulties of stopping Chris Jackson
with in-house guest Bo Kimble, and he was nearly brought to tears
when relaying his melancholy to Kimble, and the lump that grows
in his throat every-time he thinks about the death of Hank Gathers,
and Kimble shooting a left handed free-throw in salute to his friend.
Billy had the whole package on display, and it was magic! He's
still got it folks. That same talent that made you stare in awe
at the movie Flatliners is still there... only now his hair looks
like what can best be described as "Pat Riley, the morning
after a monster bender."
And I think taking the gig has worked out for him. He's already
hammered out three movie projects for 2008.
The first is in a movie featuring DMX, Michael Madsen, and David
Carradine called "Last Hour" Granted, his character doesn't
have a name, and he's placed in the credits between the characters
"car dealer gangster" and "young FBI agent"...
but it's still work.
The second movie is called Sakura: Blue-Eyed Samurai, in which
Billy stars with the guy who was in the first Saw, and The Princess
Bride. The plot sounds pretty awesome:
Set in Japan in 1866, centers on an American counsel who travels
to the land of the rising sun where his daughter Sakura, which
means cherry blossom, is learning the way of the samurai.
And finally he'll also be the star of a movie called High Midnight,
which is described in this way:
In the Wild West a lot of blood was spilled... but it didn't
go to waste. A broken-down sheriff is forced to join forces with
an obsessed Victorian vampire hunter to defeat an undead force
consuming a small frontier town in 1892 New Mexico.
I've gotta say, It looks like things are really starting to turn
around for Billy! And I wouldn't be surprised if it was a direct
result from all of the acting chops he's shown on CSTV's Retrovision.
So check your TV schedules, and make sure to tune in to watch
one of the top five actors in the Baldwin family, as he pours everything
he has into classic sports television.
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